farah

2012-01-20T02:13:00.000+08:00

Have you actually love someone so much, that it hurts?

...Well I do.

tonight

2011-11-06T00:50:00.008+08:00

It's been months since my last entry - dated 12th July- and things has been the same ever since, if not, better. Finally done with my school's attachment and currently surviving my final semester in poly.. thank god! but on the flip side, i fear the thought of graduating. where am i suppose to go? what am i suppose to do? continue schooling and get a degree or start working my ass off? either way both sucks so....hmm. we'll see what the future holds.

but for now what matters most is knowing that i've special people around me that cares. my family, my best friends and of course the man in shining armor - my boyfriend.

things has been going great for both of us. a few hiccups here and there but then again a relationship is not a relationship without arguements. we've our differences but we manage to work things out. gotta give and take a little sometimes and the main essence to it all is being understanding. number 1 principle : no expectations = no disappointments. though on most occasions even when i do have expectations (it's a brutal lie if i said i didn't have any), he'll always exceed my expectations. like a pro. hahaha. chivalry does exist and it exist in him. anyways, it's not always rainbows and butterflies, but it's compromise that moves us along, right? maroon 5 would agree to that.

he once told me that he can't promise that he will never make me cry, or sad for that matter. because truth to be told, feeling sad and disappointed in a relationship is extremely inevitable. but for all i know now, i believe that what we have gone through thus far, is worth it. after all, we need to learn how to visualize the whole piece. if you only focus on the thread given to you, you lose sight of what it can become.

this entry ain't supposed to be all corny and shit like that if you must know. honestly. but at times like this (it's 1.26 in the morning by the way) i'd like to take a step back and evaluate ... my life. how blessed i am to have him around me. sometimes i believe i might have taken things for granted. but what made him special to me is the fact that he stayed, he stayed around even if i fucked things up, real bad. picked me up and made me a better person.. right from day one.

i couldn't ask for more. but all i need now, and for as far as this takes us, is to have him around in my life. to guide me and to believe in me. because this relationship is more than just being in love with each other... something that i've never had before. he is someone whom i know i could depend on, and would readily be there for me. he doesn't have to tell me he loves me all the time because his actions proves it all. never once did his efforts subside. he has dedicated a lot for this and i'm grateful for all that was done. meeting me although he's damn shagged from work and barely had 3 hours of sleep the night before and never once complained about it, bringing me out to dates and dine in at nice places just to let me have an awesome meal, listening to my wants and needs and always do his best to make it come true.. though i do feel that i'm not deserving enough for all of that.. but i am really giving my best for this relationship and i would never wanna lose him.. he's an amazing man :')

the last few pictures were taken when i joined his family for his family dinner at sakura international buffet in conjunction with his mother's birthday, after which we went to airport to walk around. his family is lovely :)

it feels good blogging after some time.

crosses and circles,

farah

new phase

2011-07-11T01:19:00.003+08:00

Meet, my sunshine.

The man who planted a smile across my face during my darkest days.

He completes me.

Crosses and circles,

farah

='(

2011-06-18T13:10:00.000+08:00

2011-06-17T14:15:00.009+08:00

2011-06-17T05:16:00.005+08:00

I feel so..messy. Tangled and suffocated.

I want to go back to basic. But I do not want to go back allll ovveeeerrr agaaain, no I do not want to do that because I'm too physically tired, mentally exhausted and psychologically incapable of doing that. I wish my life was a system so i could reboot or probably create a new folder, dunk all the redundant files to the folder, and transfer the folder out of my system to an external hard drive or something.

crosses and circles,

farah

2011-05-25T23:40:00.005+08:00

No matter how hard I tried explaining, it seems that words do not hold that much of a value itself for me to convey and describe with absolute detail in accordance to what has been happening/happened. So.. I can't tell them what it really is, I can only tell them what it feels like. But explaining does not do any justice because words could not correspond to what I would like to express. It's frustrating. But it's okay. It is all over. And.. I'm glad the chapter past by me. I was drained out and exhausted from the unbearable and continuous ...mortifying drama. I should refrain myself from giving it less credit than what it deserves. And instead.. I should probably be thankful for everything.. Both the good and the bad. There has to be a blessing in disguise. Few lessons learnt and taught here and there. After all, what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. And I'm stronger now. Manipulating yourself to switch your weaknesses into a form of strength would only channel you to positivity.

Crosses and circles,

farah

Change

2011-05-15T01:55:00.007+08:00

Wow. It has been really.... long. Haven't been blogging for a few months now. Funny how I completely ditched this space in a sudden when I once thought that I couldn't live without it. Not that I have a reason for it..or reasons. But you should by now realize the wonders of Change. A drastic one when applied to me, at least. I don't usually equip myself with explanations.. which i would then bring you to a point of confusion... Oh, and before I begin. Let me formally welcome you again, in case you have forgotten, my life full of, well.. You should figure it out by now. Full of Confusion. It's really messy in here (as if it is not obvious enough).. and I don't even know why. But things should be fine... time will tell, .. i guess? But, you should really count on hope. And at least a pinch of positivity. Though on most occasion, engulfed with negativity in disguise.

You know.. it really amuses me how we (or particularly, I) live my life day by day and everything seemed... normal. Nothing much has changed. School, home, sleep... Same shit, different day. Heard of it? Yeah. But at some point of your life, when you turn and look around, analyzing every little thing while flipping the pages of your diary, or plainly looking straight into the eyes of someone special to you.. and then it struck to you and *snap* you realized that things just ain't the same anymore. A lot has changed. And you didn't even realize when or how it happened.

See, we're too busy dedicating our time and caring too much about things that didn't matter, till we're nonchalant about the things we should really spend some time pondering upon. Subject may vary to every individual, but i believe this theory applies to majority. We're humans after all. Me, you, we're the same. We have feelings. We feel hurt when things start to change.. or changed. But we're all in this together. Stuck, suffocated, barely knowing what we're doing half of the time. Trying to survive the bullshits that we go through our daily lives, the lies we hear, the heartbreaks, the guilty pleasure that we all have.. It's a really crazy world out there mate.

But then again. We're human after all. We're bound to feel that way. But the question is, how many times must we get hurt to actually deserve to be happy?

Crosses and circles,

farah

2011-01-25T21:19:00.002+08:00

I'M SICK

='(

I don't like it whenever I'm sick but somehow I fall sick SUPER easily.

I keep on telling myself to get some vitamin pills someday but it slipped off my mind every time. Gonna get them soonish... before I fall sick again of course.

School ( & no-motive pictures) :

Crosses and circles,

forever only exist when you're here with me

2011-01-23T00:12:00.005+08:00

"You know what baby..., you don't really have to trust me in anything, it's fine with me. But just trust me in one thing. Trust me that I love you, I love you alot sayang, and that my love for you is real. From the very first day I saw you till now, I still love you a whole lot, nothing can change that"

- said by Megat Hikal, my boyfriend :)

firework

2011-01-21T00:01:00.003+08:00

(Picture above) My used-to-be long hair, and I curled it using the curling iron.

Had it chopped off due to really bad dry ends. Had it exposed to excessive heat such as hair drying and the curling iron. Stupid stupid me. But now my hair's all short and I'm proud to say that IT'S REALLY HEALTHY. Like I don't have to face with tangled hair no more. Just that I miss twirling with my hair and curling it up for a different look. I'd probably make it grow a little longer like about 2 more inch and MAYBEEE, just maybe i'll opt for digital perming or just normal perming with medium curls. We'll see how it goes. Or probably change the colour of my hair. I DON'T KNOW. Sigh I've so many plans for my hair.

More pictures of my long hair :

I'm the one on the right. LOOK AT MY LONG HAIR.

And that is my bestfriend iqah on my left.

Crosses and circles,

farah

Be strong

2011-01-19T22:21:00.005+08:00

Unfortunately for me, I've pasts that I dwell upon too much, probably causing me to think too much of downright irrelevant and unnecessary stuffs. Wouldn't deny that it affected me in every angle of my everyday-life. It altered the way I think, the way I look at stuffs and basically my perception towards everything.

Somehow paranoia conquered and multiplied like an uncontrollable virus within me that was manipulating my own self. It was really frustrating to be fully aware that my life is slowly being taken control over by my overwhelming emotions, but not even a cell within me was able to be the dominant one to keep my mind straight. Mind over matter, I told myself. But I wasn't strong enough to fight that feeling. I found two weakness within me. One, my emotions. Two, not having the ability to conquer my own emotions.

It took me years to learn to be in charge of myself. To be in total control, and to be strong within, emotionally and physiologically.

I told myself that this can't go on forever. If accepting my pasts can never be a choice in my whole lifetime, then the next possible option would be forgetting it. Shan't drag anything redundant nonsensical matters into my life any further.

After all, They say nothing lasts forever, but I've also learnt that in life you're all capable to set your own degree of willingness to make extraordinary things happen whilst creating histories, and cherish every single passing second while you're at it.

I'm entitled to and shall be happy.

Crosses and circles,

farah

teenage dreams

2011-01-19T20:53:00.002+08:00

Saturday , January the 15th 2011 :

Megat was supposed to end work @ 6pm , therefore I made my way to his workplace to pick him up. It was meant to be a surprise since he didn't had a clue that I was coming to pick him up. However though, I was greeted with an unexpected news by him telling me that he'll be ending work at 8pm instead of 6pm. So I wandered around town alone for two hours. Lucky enough for me that I brought my DSLR along with me, it was a great companion though.

Dinner @ Lau Pa Sat once he was done with work.

Poor boy he was looking all tired. So we had his favorites over at Lau Pa Sat to make up for it.

Tiger prawns + Sugar cane with lemon = immediate orgasm.

Too bad the chicken wings wasn't available on that day.

It was such a lovely day.

So a little update on me now... I've been really busy, like I don't even have much time to spare for my family, friends, megat now, let alone myself. Been feeling really tired these past few weeks. Business Service Centre is no joke, it felt like the schedule was really able to choke me up till my really last breath. I attend school 9am to 5.30pm every single day, which equates having to wake up reaaaaally early in the morning for me.

They handed a god damn V.I.P pass straight to hell for me.

It was such a challenge.

Shan't be discouraged over little matters now can't I ? I CAN DO THIS !! BSC's going to end pretty soon, going to miss the lovely team mates I have as well as people from the other teams. Guess we bonded real well :)

Crosses and circles,

farah

love

2011-01-16T23:58:00.002+08:00

Megat Hikal.

Crosses and circles,

Farah Suhaila

I'm back

2011-01-15T15:35:00.003+08:00

Though a little part of me couldn't be bothered anymore about blogging or anything of that matter, I couldn't resist myself from typing an entry down to somewhat remind myself of my life when I get a little older. Since I'm not really a pen and paper kind of person considering that it gets a little impossible for me to even move a muscle to get things jot down on a diary , I should be really thankful to technology. (I am typing this entry away while lying down on my bed . Ah , the convenience ) All hail Blogspot !

Today marks the 15 th January . The plan of sleeping my weekend away got a little disrupted by my self body alarm clock ( or whatever it is called in the scientific way , I couldn't care less about it ). Got really used to waking up 6 in the morning everyday for school and unfortunately ... I woke up as early as that today .

It's a rainy Saturday and I was plan-less until I was cleaning my Sony NEX-3 (a.k.a Princess Evadora) and I thought to myself that Hey, I should probably head out and take a couple of pictures. Though I am clearly aware that not a cell within me has any photography skills, I should probably learn a little along the way , though at the same time it comes with a look-like-a-bimbotic package. SIGH .

So, good day everyone.

My next entry would probably be the pictures that I'm going to take later.

Crosses and circles,

farah

Hello 2011, be nice to me.

2011-01-03T22:49:00.004+08:00

I couldn't put my finger on weather 2010 was a great year or otherwise, but on the flip side I guess year 2010 was pretty much entertaining, with the adequate (or more) supply of drama whereby it fills up like almost every passing second. And with regards to that matter, we now all have an explanation as to why the year seem to end so fast.

There are things that I wish didn't happen in 2010, and there are things that I wished it would happen, but didn't. But nevertheless with these stuffs - whatever you call it - that happened, somehow force-fed me with the taste of life. It doesn't really taste that nice, honestly. But well we gotta suck on it anyway. Bleargh.

So 2011 is here, and everyone's making new resolutions...except me. Not that I don't bother, but when it comes to resolutions and myself, I guess we don't really work well together. But for the sake of starting the year positively, I'm gonna make a change, not necessarily a noticeable one (cause it is not like as if anyone would notice a change in anyone) but a beneficial one instead, to me at least. Because all that matters in my life is ... Me. HAHA !

So this year I aim to learn about myself better. Maybe be a better person, though it might feel weird to be ... nice, but everyone's gotta make a change one day. Talking about change, I managed to successfully kicked a habit that I had for about more or less 4 years, and that is Smoking.

Honestly I am a very very heavy smoker. I smoke a box of cigarettes (20 sticks) per day. And I purchase cigarettes almost everyday ! And the worst thing is that, the cigarette that i used to smoke is Sampoerna Menthol. And we all know Sampoerna has a higher nicotine level than most of the popular cigarettes like Marlboro or Next or Winston or Viceroy. So I probably think that the amount of tar on the roads of Upper Changi Road is equivalent to the amount of tar in my organs.

But that aside, I'm happy that I've kicked that habit of smoking. And up to date, today's the 10th day of NOT SMOKING! YIPEE. Though having withdrawal symptoms really sucks, well I guess it would be all worth it in the end :)

So I'll end this entry with the my latest new haircut :)

I had it chopped off on the 31st December 2010, well I guess I needed a change before the new year starts. I think I look a little different though. I have fringe now ! And I cut my hair shorter by about 5 or 6 inches, but it's fine. My long hair was pulling me down anyway, whatever that meant. But what matters is that I love how my hair is now and well, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY !

Babygirl Aisyah & I with our new haircut.

Celebrated countdown over at Zirca/Rebel with the rest of the girls :

Crosses and circles,
farah

Meet my baby

2010-12-22T22:10:00.005+08:00

HO MA GOD.

My dearest boyfriend Megat Hikal gave me a freaking DSLR for my 19th birthday !!!!!!!

SONY NEX-3

THE SMALLEST DSLR IN THE WORLD !

It is the size of a compact camera and omg........... it's freaking expensive.

THANKS BABY I REALLY LOVE IT A LOT !

Check out the website here : http://www.sony.com.sg/product/nex-3d/sku/nex-3d_b++++e37

The functions are awesome, the picture quality is extraordinary and i love EVERYTHING about the camera. EVERYTHINGGGG.

I've always wanted the picture quality that DSLR cameras produce, but I want the camera to be the size of a normal compact camera, so this is the perfect combo of both worlds. OMG I am really damn speechless already. Love it max !!!!

And by the way, Megat and I named the camera.

We call her.... Princess Evadora !

Crosses and circles,

farah

a little wiser.

2010-12-20T23:14:00.006+08:00

My birthday is in 45 more minutes, and I'm gonna turn 19.

So I shall cherish these few moments while I'm still 18 and well... post an entry.

As far as I'm concerned, my life is at its best when I'm 18.

There were a whole lot of stuffs that happened throughout the year, enabling me to view the world in a more wider scope, enduring life challenges, obstacles, learning and adapting to situations. Everything that I've gone through has shaped and molded me into someone I am today.

Though I am not the best person around, or someone that you should look up to, I believe that for every step that I take, for every mistakes that I did, it makes me a little more wiser each day.

Happy advance 19th birthday to me :)

Crosses and circles,

farah

GRENADE

2010-11-18T11:36:00.006+08:00

Told myself that I shouldn't abandon my blog any longer, though part of me couldn't be bothered publishing redundant entries about my really crazy life. I figured that I might as well shift my focus into stabilizing everything, calming the storms and at least consider myself human enough before start typing out an entry, but I realized this is what I am all about, loads of unreasoned blast of emotions being thrown in to my utterly unmanaged out-of-control life. So what chu see is what chu get. Though it should be to your utmost awareness and realization that my blog isn't really a platform for you to judge what I am, because feelings are being eliminated before blogging, and what passes through are only events that occur.

Couldn't really depend on my memory to remember whatever happened during the past month (of not blogging) mainly because the capacity of my brain is pretty much equivalent to the size of a thumb drive and not an external hard disk (or whatever you can think of). So the capability of remembering is really limited so i'm basing my entries with regards to my pictures. Here goes nothing!

HALLOWEEN 2010

Halloween on the 30th of October. With regards to old-fashioned beliefs, I wouldn't claim that I was celebrating the event for whatever theories that lies beneath Halloween, like any satanic or religion-based stuff, because I was there purely for the enjoyment. And I really enjoyed myself that night over at Clarke Quay with my bestfriend, Iqah.

If my memory serves me right, it was such an impromptu event whereby I rushed to Bugis earlier in the afternoon (on the same day that I celebrated Halloween) to get my outfit though while making my way there, I was still clueless as to what I should dress up as later for the night. With the help of my friends, managed to finally boil to a decision and it was pretty much a challenge racing through the crowds and finding the perfect outfit to match the character I was going for.

Got home, changed and made our way to Clarke Quay. I was dressed as a ...

Playboy bunny =)

Well I kinda like the whole baby-pink look though.

Iqah was supposed to come as a pink fairy but under some unforeseen circumstances that occurred such as a breaking her fairy wing at the very last minute, she came prepared as a Confused Barbie, which is pretty cute to start it off with.

We went around and took pictures with random people who dressed up as well. Almost everyone there dressed up and based purely on my opinion, i think everyone is more enthusiastic in dolling themselves up into scary/slutty/cute characters as compared to wearing just a plain red top on National Day haha.

So that was all about Halloween. There was more to it but should I remind, that the ability and interest of blogging has greatly deteriorate.

The next "event" that happened (that I could remember) is when the girls (Lubna and Iqah) sleptover my place for a night. Well it was nothing but awesome. They came over close to midnight and we dolled up together in my room with songs blasting out loud. I'm pretty glad that we received no complains cause if MY neighbour were the one to be blasting the songs out, I would have cursed whoever that is for a year straight.

So anyways, a friend of ours decided to pick us up and drive us to Clarke Quay, that is very sweet of him. Thanks ! And thanks for sending us back to my place too =)

That's the Steve Madden heels I'm wearing that I bought last raya

So the next thing that I could remember is the (yet again) impromptu night to Clarke Quay with Iqah and Huda. It was so fun especially when the clock strikes around 2am ? It was one of the best night, EVER. Well lots of things happened. So went to the usual (and my favourite club) Zirca / Rebel .

And yea you would notice the same blue dress on me that Iqah wore previously (on the above pictures). Hahaha we girls exchange clothes EVERYTIME. Don't worry , it's washed. And the dress is mine. Haha

After clubbing, the boys picked us up.

Well, thankssss. So nice of you guys =)

We all headed to ECP and hanged around there for a little while.

Woah this is one long entry ! Well I hope this would make up to the lack of entries =)

Apart from that, i've one (quite) big thing coming up soon ! Will update you guys about it soon. Prolly by this coming wednesday ! Need all of your support. Wondering what is it about? Wait and see ! Haha

Till then.

Crosses and circles,

farah

zzz

2010-10-22T22:24:00.009+08:00

What and how do you define a real man ?

Though I'm aware that the definition varies to one's opinions, I believe that when it all boils down to one, we womens are all looking for the same capabilities and qualities from men. Loving, trustworthy, caring, responsible, honest.. yeah you get my drift. And we all know that good looks are a bonus.

Being a women myself, who is born with a manipulative mind by default, I choose to ignore the truth that in actual fact, no such guy exist. So I was all "Ohhh, he is so perfect and there is nothing about him that I would change" until one day when God finally decide to give me a tight bitch slap on my face and I have no other manipulative reasons to manipulate my god-knows manipulative mind to ignore the truth, thus forcing me into accepting the unflattering reality.

It was then and there when I realize that : THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT MAN - no matter how sweet he is towards you or how much the world seemed to be filled with butterflies when he's around you, fuck you bitch, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT MAN. The more you think that he is perfect, the more you should be prepared for the undesired circumstances that will happen. They would ALWAYS have some filthy things planned up on their sleeves. In another words, HE WILL GIVE YOU HELL. If you're lucky enough, it might be the earlier part of the relationship so you can realize how much of an asshole he is. But for a couple of you, damnit, Fuck Your Life. The duration of hell differs though because it depends on the level of humanity of the guy. (You'll be surprised how some guys appear to look like a human but really, they're all just plastic inside)

Not trying to imply that there are such things as 'perfect women', but being a woman myself and being surrounded by a few everyday, I am confident enough to state that no matter how impossible it may seem, womens will try their best to be as perfect for the man of her life.

What I'm trying to say is, as I have observed different kind of relationships of couples throughout the years and also based on my own experiences, women are more enthusiastic and we put in more dedication to relationship as compared to the opposite gender. We put in effort and determination for the sake of shaping and nurturing a good and healthy relationship from the start, whereas guys, they are more of the I-do-shits-to-you-and-then-say-sorry-and-if-you-love-me-you-would-clear-that-mess-up-and-forgive-me-and-move-on-and-start-a-new-and-i-would-promise-not-to-do-it-again-but-in-the-end-i-would-break-the-promises-again KIND OF THING. Some situation might not be exact to what I mentioned, but i'm sure it is somewhere within that parameter. Or close.

So, really? How do you define an acceptable guy? (Note that I do not use 'prefect')

Guys (thats if there are any guy who reads my blog), we girls wants simplicity only for a reason. Because we know some of you aren't capable of anything more than that. If you could, give yourself a pat on the back. But for those who can't, please, it isn't really hard to be an Acceptable Guy, really.

All you need to do it to make your woman happy. If your only intention is to make her happy, then I'm assuming that you have no intended intentions planted in your filthy mind or heart to ever lie, cheat, or hurt her physically or emotionally. It's easy isn't it? Love is just plain love itself. It has never been something like :

***

LOVE PACKAGES!

Includes:

-Lying

-Cheating

-Breaking your heart

-Physical Abuse

***

So do NOT, ever, abuse the meaning of LOVE.

I mean fine, what's love without arguements right? But let those arguements to be just about how he thinks it is more worth to spend his 5 minutes playing Dota rather than watching you glue your fake eyelashes on.

And as I've observed, it is pretty saddening to see how guys are more insensitive towards feelings of a woman or how women would like to be treated. They are more bonded to their ego and worth (like as if they have any worth in the first place....tsk) rather than making the world a much easier place to live in just by putting HALF of their ego away.

Seriously? Do you think it is attractive to actually be known as the hot pimp who breaks heart? Seriously let me tell you this. A normal guy with average looks and average wealth and one who knows how to treat a girl well and who is family-oriented, is MUCH attractive than you thought you are, you ...you guy with 10000kg of wax on your head ! (I am just assuming that most guys who think that they are hot has a whole lot of wax on their hair. Not referring to anyone in particular).

So please. You guys know that you are already at the disadvantage of being born in this world with something called an Ego, by default. So to actually stabilize that scale, having good attitude would be a perfect help.

Crosses and circles,

farah

Mind, Heart And Soul. Till The Reasons Unfold

2010-10-18T23:06:00.005+08:00

School has already started. SIGH.

Went to school for TEP (Teaching Enterprise Program) on Monday where all Year 2 business students have to undergo for 1 semester. It's something like attachments so yeah. I'll only be starting school next week. Gonna have only 2 modules for 1 month (Lepak or whaaat). Followed by a 2 months full-time attachment at Business Service Center and after I'm done with that, I'll be going for a 2 months part-time attachment at Marketing Services Center. It somehow sounds interesting. Hope everything's gonna be smooth sailing.

Anyways, the first day of school wasn't as great as I expected. I didn't expect THAT coming. Wouldn't elaborate much on it cause I'm putting everything behind me. I was sad of course and even shed a few tears, but all's good now. I hope?

There's this guy, let's all call him Dipsy, who is always there for me regardless rain or shine. As soon as he found out that I wasn't feeling my best, he made his way to my school and picked me up. Dipsy's always nice towards me. He would ALWAYS cheer me up with his own comical ways and I think we meet up almost everyday. There wouldn't be a second that I'll get bored when he's within my parameter. He has an ability that most doesn't posses, and that is to plaster a permanent smile across my face.

Dipsy knows I love riding on his bike, so we went around aimlessly, and we finally landed our cute asses at Botanical Gardens. Dipsy love to bring me to places I've never been before and to places that are worth a visit.

He had lunch (i lost my appetite) and that was when I spilled the beans to him, telling him everything that happened earlier. And yet again he had his most lunatic ways to cheer me up. We walked around botanical gardens (the last time I went was like a year ago!) though the sun seemed to be positioned right above our head. IT WAS FREAKING 1 IN THE AFTERNOON. As I expected, the weather didn't really hinder us from the excitements that we had.

That picture was taken on the first shot ! YES, FIRST.

Turned out perfect, 'cept that my face isn't really visible. But it isn't a problem anyway, right? Since my blog is dominated by a whole lot of self-obsessed pictures.

Though it felt that I could actually drown in my own sweat, we had so much fun exploring around the place and laugh our ass off over lame things that shouldn't be laughed about. So it was about three when we're done with botanical gardens and yet again, we were clueless as where to head next.

We were thinking of watching a movie... or karaoke-ing... or bowling...

But guess where did we ended up at ?

HAW PAR VILLA !!!!!

HAHAHAHA weird or whaaaat. Sounds like a field trip ey ? The last time I went there was when my age was still a single digit. Been AGES ! Well we went to look at the ''10 stages of hell'' or something like that. DAMN SCARY !! But it is based on Chinese beliefs though. Apart from that, I would really suggest for the place to go for a massive renovation or something. The place looked damn wrecked. But yet again, we had fun, I've never had a doubt about it anyway though the amount of sweat i sweat out amazed me since I've never sweat so much for as long as I could remember (all thanks to the sun)

So it was about 4 or 5 ( I can't remember ) when we're done walking around Haw Par Villa. Clueless as where to head next, AGAIN. So he brought me to Labrador park. NEVER BEEN THERE BEFORE! Previously he brought me to Keppel Bay and it wasn't far from Labrador park. Anyway we just chilled around while the wind gushes throughout our hair and enjoyed the sounds of the crashing waves. It was so breezy and the sunset was the perfect backdrop to the whole ambiance. Witness the sun as it beautifully showed off its rays across the view. The sky was pinkish-orange-reddish. The view looked like those amazing sun-set portrait kind of picture. So you get what I'm trying to say right? Words couldn't elaborate how beautiful the evening was. Exceptionally breath taking.

We snapped a couple of pictures for memories sake.

Hehe sorry for the shagged face.

We just chilled around with a bag of Twisties and 2 bottle of Coke/Pepsi (both of it tastes the same anyways). Played cards, and I swear I can never get sick of playing cards. Taiti, German Taiti, Russian Poker, and our very own "Yes, No, Maybe, In the future" game. Performed some magic trick on him and dipsy was really shocked ! Hehe. Sang to songs together and it was so funny when we wanted to reach those high notes!

It was about 8.30pm and we decided to make a move. Though both of us was damn shagged, we could still laugh our asses over lame jokes (nothing's new here) even when we're on his bike. Dipsy can make me laugh a lot !!!

Thanks for cheering me up Dipsy ;) And thanks for everything else. And everything includes entertaining my lamest jokes and messaging me every single morning before I wake up :)

"I Luuuuuvvvvvvv Mat Rempit!" HAHAHAHAHAHA it's an inside joke lol.

Anyways, I won't be uploading any of his pictures because of some issues ! =/

And surprisingly, I survived the whole day with only 2.5 hours of sleep the night before !

Crosses and circles,

farah

oh look at what you've done

2010-10-09T04:00:00.009+08:00

Long entry ahead...

I'll start it off with quite a lot of self-obsessed pictures. Haha!

Yesterday was my dad's birthday. Happy birthday Ayah !

Me love you deep deep although we both know I'm not really easy to handle. I'm sorry, but I am just growing up. Don't know what I'd be without you :( You'll always be my hero.. Although the last time I mentioned that to you is like .. probably 10 years ago ?

So anyway, we went for a family photoshoot for a family potrait. AGAIN. This is like the 3rd time already. My house is full of family potraits haha. But I like it though cause it is like soooo damn fun ! But it kinda sucks when my face doesn't really turn out as desired and then they printed it out super big and frame it up and hang it on the wall. Jia lat lor.

Anyway went out with Dipsy (yes, the dipsy in Teletubbies. It's a code-name for someone, the one who-shall-not-be-named. Haha) on both Wednesday and Thursday to catch a movie ! Okayla not only Wednesday and Thursday. In actual fact, we meet almost everyday lah. I also didn't realise that until we were both like .."eh we meet each other everyday! hahaha" . So anyhoos, we catched movies on both days! Finally got to watch Charlie St Cloud and Buried ! Oh and when we watched Charlie St Cloud on Wednesday, it was super impromptu.. totally unplanned at all ! Imagine this : We planned to watch the movie 40 MINUTES before the movie starts. So we actually only had 40 minutes to get ready, (note that I have yet to wear my make up or choose my clothes etc etc, and we live damn far from each other) and make our way to the theater !! He quickly picked me up and we were like 8 minutes late for the movie but it's no big deal ! I'm just surprised that we actually made it .. LOL ! Anyway the movies are not really up to what I expected but it was fine. So after watching a movie with Dipsy on thursday, met my girls for some shopping.

Luby, Iqah and Myself ended parking our butts over at Ion's swensens for Ice Cream Buffet ! Damn niceeee you guys should try it ;) It's only available over at Ion's outlet and it is only 18.90 per person ! You can try varieties of ice cream ! There's white and dark chocolate fondue ! Freshly made waffles and pancakes and whatever that you can think of !

Uhmmm, damn nice I feel like going again !
Anyone ?

So anyhoos, I've start to curl my hair using the curling iron nowadays. I feel like perming it permanently. I'm sick of all straight. Futhurmore I'm intending to keep my fringe long (though it is already long as it is now, I don't even think it is called 'fringe' anymore. It's like part of my hair already. The length of my fringe is even below my chin! haha) , it'd be kinda boring to have a straight hair. What do you think? Formspring me!

Crosses and circles,
farah

2010-10-06T00:24:00.005+08:00

Got back my examination results. Passed all my papers, Alhamdulillah.

2nd year 2nd sem starting in less than 2 weeks. Boring.

I've been going out everyday. It's good to know that I am actually occupied with plans rather than rotting at home alone. Like, REALLY occupied. Every day. I like it though.

On a random note, I can't believe I'm turning 20 next year.

My teenage years has been one of a helluva roller coaster ride, seriously. Some fell out of the ride, some stayed on. So just let us see who's the last one standing.

Crosses and circles,

Farah

Just gotta let you know

2010-09-28T02:00:00.008+08:00

There are things about me that people don't know. And I don't wish to tell anyone, because no matter how I try to elaborate or try explaining with any kind of words that I could think of, it couldn't match to the feelings I feel inside or like that way that I planned to express it out. There are reasons why I keep things to myself, and there are reasons why I limit myself to some aspects of life.

I have met a lot of people throughout my life. I am nineteen this year, and being alive this long is more than enough to show me how cruel the world could get. I don't want to get into details, because every opinion is different, and I have my own.

This isn't a really nice place to live in, but we have no other choice but to suck on it.

I have histories that I don't wish to share, but these histories are the ones that made me the person I am now. One day I just wish someone would come along and adapt to what or how I am now. Because adapting me, would be equivalent to accepting my histories.

Within these histories lies a couple of promises made with a few people. I have to go on with life having doubts on whether or not these promises are still being kept as a promise. What fears me most are those long-term promises that was made. I have doubts on whether or not to count their word for the promises being made at a certain period of time. I even have doubts whether or not it still linger on their mind, but I have to go on, just probably hoping that I am not relying my life on empty promises. But fret not, I am still holding on to any kind of promises that I made.

Life is a gamble.

Anyway, to whom it may be concerned,

It was nice being around you and thank you for showing me around to places I've never stepped a foot on before in Singapore. You definitely drew a smile across my face and I really thank you for that (and the lantern too and the sweets , it was super adorable of you ! haha ) . And to whatever that happened at Keppel Bay (thanks for bringing me there, I REALLY love it!) , well it was good while it lasted ;) It might be only less than a month since I know you but , for what its worth , you are such a sweetheart , really . You made me feel like a princess .

Crosses and circles,

farah

Got my freedom back

2010-09-25T00:58:00.005+08:00

Ya know what?

After finally being able to let go of something that I THOUGHT I could never part with made feel ... so surreal. Like, I could finally BREATHE FRESH AIR. Like a gush of wind just smacked me on my face kinda feeling. Damn, I should have done this WAY back. If only I wasn't as stupid and retarded............... Haha okay I am welcoming Freedom now with open arms ;)

BUT THEN, I still couldn't get over the fact that I was actually VERY stupid. Dear God, why do you even have to let me go through all that kinda shits, seriously? You like playing games with me or what? Or are you like sitting up there and laugh at me while I was being a total retard back then? Or tossing and turning around the floor while I was acting like a fool? Really? But on the flip side, Thank God (x1000) that phase of my life is finally over! Yes, I'm referring to THAT suffocating-torturing-a total waste of my time-stupid-retarded phase!

I bet most of you are lost right now after reading the first two REALLY redundant paragraph.

It's okay, it's nothing spectacular or anything, just tryna spill my emotions out. Keep on guessing what I'm referring to if you want to............. it's not THAT hard to guess anyway.

What goes around comes around, right? Ain't karma a bitch? But we all know Farah is ;) HAHAHA okay i'm kidding - that was scripted from Gossip Girl, duh.

This might be a little over-due, but let me show you my Hari Raya pictures.

This might be too early to announce but heck, MY BIRTHDAY IS IN ABOUT 3 MONTHS. I've already something planned in mind. Ya I'm planning something on my birthday because my girls and I wanted to make THE-party-of-the-year kinda thing. It's like some sort of a celebration for our friendship AND also a celebration for our teenage years since this year would be the last year that all of us are a teenager. We're gonna be 20 as of 2011, sucky much huh? Tell me about it.....

So since my birthday is on december, it would totally be a perfect time for us to celebrate MY birthday and also the above-mentioned plans. We're gonna make it a blast. I won't just bid goodbye to my teenage years JUST LIKE THAT. It would be something extraordinary. Like, memorable and something.. blasty. You get what I'm tryna say? .........Nevermind if you don't. It's an invite-only event though. HAHAHA

Why do I sound so bitchy today?

Excuse me ! Haha

Crosses and circles,

Farah

Breaking free

2010-09-20T03:53:00.003+08:00

Life isn't dull all year round, so I guess rather than expecting something extraordinary to happen anytime soon, I should just be thankful with whatever that I have now.

Just recently, I went out with Aisyah over to town for some girly day out. It's been eons since I wore wedges or heels. I used to wear them out everyday but I started ditching the heels and wedges eversince I got into poly. Slippers are my current favorite footwear. I'm in slippers every schooling day!

So met Aisyah at Somerset after she met Dino. Hanged around town.

Aisyah and myself made our way over to Tampines to meet Iqah and Lubna. There was some funfair at the open space beside the MRT there. We paid 6 bucks each for the bumper car! At first I thought it was sorta over-priced but once we were on our own bumper cars, we couldnt stop shouting and laughing our ass off! I really had so much fun, it's been eons since I've been THAT happy and care-free. Good ol' times. After the whole bumping session, I was somehow convinced that it was worth every penny!

Update me on any funfair that has bumper cars okay ! I'll be sooo up for it !

I somehow realize that simple things like these are what makes me happy. Things like playing bumper cars with your girlfriends, shouting while bumping into each other. Like going to borders and reading fashion magazine with your best friends and start criticizing people on the magazine. Or just a simple sleepover and a movie marathon. Or head over to Cold Storage and get something to cook.

We tend to get so intense running after happiness at times that we don't realize simple things like these are the primary solution for us to actually draw a smile on each other faces.

Crosses and circles,

farah

Fucked up friend.

2010-09-18T02:33:00.011+08:00

It's 5 in the morning now and I am still not asleep.

Somehow there's a lot of things in my mind. About everything. About life, love, friends, trust and myself.

As a matter of fact, I somehow think I failed to become the person I wanted to be. I am weak, and due to that flaw that I think I've mastered in, people tend to step all over my head. And due to that flaw, people overlooked that fact that I am after all just a human being. Put aside the fact that I am your "friend", all I needed was for you to understand that I am just a human being like you, like them, just like any other people. I am capable of being sad or disappointed or even frustrated. Heck, I am even capable of feeling all of that three at once.

I might not look or act like what I really feel inside. I might not voice out my opinions at times. I might act dumb like most of the time cos I like bottling my feelings up. But does that, does that gave you the fucking opportunity to lie to me right on my face over and over again? As a friend? Seriously? Do you even think a friend would do that? Do you even consider yourself as a friend in the first place?

Do you think it is even wise of you to lie to me? Call yourself a "brother". Do you think just because I act like as if I don't know anything proves that I am really dumb? Do you really think I was seriously born just yesterday? Do you seriously think I do not know the truth all along?

Dearest "friend", do you know how filthy it was to actually look at you right in the eye, and then having to hear all sorts of lies from you right on my face? Do you know how filthy it was to hear all those lies, when all along, all fucking along, I knew the truth? And I knew that you were lying?

Haven't you wonder why I never fail to act like i believe your lies? Do you even think I am stupid enough EVERY SINGLE TIME whenever you lie to me ? Truth to be told, I just wanted to see how far you would go, and how much you would betray your own "friend" just for your own fucking benefit.

JUST FOR YOUR OWN FUCKING BENEFIT, damn it. Think about it, dude.

No matter how many times you lied to me, I kept it all in and bottle it up. I fucking bottled my feelings up, why ? Because I didn't want to make a fuss out of it and I THOUGHT you would change. To make things worst, you KNEW about the load of stress I had to handle due to a whole lot of problems but you chose to add on to my burden . So I was back to being nice to you, OVER AND OVER AGAIN. But no dude, you proved me wrong, you didn't change.

For 1 year plus, for 1 fucking year plus I have been entertaining your fucked up nonsense. Not once, not twice. But for 1 year plus.

I am always there when you needed me. In the middle of the night? 2am ? 3am? Just tell me when, and I would be there for you. But look, what the fuck have you done? No offence but you are just using the people around you for your own fucking benefit. Were you there when I needed you? Yes, you were, I won't deny. But what's the fucking point of being there for me when all along you were being a fucked up HYPOCRITE? Furthermore, the most that you would do for me when I'm crying or sad is to say "I CAN'T HELP YOU ANYMORE" or "THERES NOTHING ELSE THAT I CAN SAY" . Heck, you didn't even bother asking if I was alright the other day when you knew I was sad. Do you know what you did? You left without saying a word. You didn't even bother. Imagine if I were to do that to you. Wait, no, don't imagine. Cause I would NEVER do that to you because my dear "friend" , that is totally inhumane.

Wow.

Don't tell me stuffs like you lied because you wanted to "take care of my feelings" because seriously, along the way, you actually forget that I do have feelings. Because if you wanted to "take care of my feelings", you wouldn't have done what you did in the first place. To make things worst, you KNEW what you did was WRONG but then you still insist of doing it and hurt me and yet again , lie to me .

You even had the cheek to lie to me when I was crying infront of you begging for the truth? Seriously I had swallowed enough of your shits. You should be thankful that I am not that kind of girl who would do revenges because I don't find the need to spare another fucking second for you.

For what its worth, my only true friends are Iqah, Lubna, Aisyah and Aida.

I do hope you actually read this entry and realize what kind of a person you have become. I won't bother trying to think about your feelings or care about how you would feel after you read this, because you have betrayed me enough that you deserve no respect from me.

Crosses and circles,

farah

What i am going through right now :

2010-09-17T15:29:00.001+08:00

crosses and circles,
farah

Eh, haloooooo

2010-09-09T00:32:00.003+08:00

Olaaaaa !

So Hari Raya's tomorrow. Super exciteddddddddddddd. I don't know what I'm excited over but I'm just excited. Maybe I'm excited because everyone around me is excited. But what are they excited about? I have no idea. I mean I would expect not getting much green packets this year though considering that I am already 19? But nevermind about that, let us all be excited!!

On a more serious note, I had marketing paper on Monday and business finance paper on Tuesday. I'm supposed to go for my business law paper on wednesday (yesterday) but seriously, my brain was so damn jammed like.. you know suddenly my brain stopped functioning and i just can't bring myself to study ! So in the end i decided to ditch the paper and took MC instead. Costed me 36 bucks. Fucker. That's the cost for skipping an exam. Anyway, I'm gonna have my Accounting paper later on at 4pm. Gonna study after this entry!

Anyway, I bought gray contact lenses when i went out with the girls today. Check it out! :

(Sorry hor, abit self-obsessed)

Crosses and circles,

farah

So I am the angel that wears.... guess what? hehe

2010-09-05T01:55:00.005+08:00

Hi.

Remember that I said I've been saving to buy something?

Well well guess what fellow beautiful earthlings ? I GOT IT.

So right now, I am 18, (okay lah.. I'm 19 this year BUT MY BIRTHDAY HAVENT COME YET - its in december SIGH) and... I am a proud owner of....

YES I BOUGHT A FREAKING PRADA WALLET !

Wow i am so proud of myself - USING MY OWN HARD-EARNED MONEY.

Yet again, I have the ability to amaze myself. hahahaha

And yes, I actually worked so hard for it. I never knew I would do that but i actually did -.-

But nevermind, now that I have it...

HO MY FREAKING GAWDDDDDD!!!!

I know I know it's not like a Prada bag or Chanel or something that is REALLY expensive but hey, I spend $830 on this wallet and that is something, something that i should.......... be excited about ! Hehe

So happy so happy!

Finallyyyyyyyyy Alhamdulillah

So this is my happy face ( although i know i don't really look happy but well at least i tried.. I don't really know how to make a happy face? lol )

crosses and circles,

farah

2010-09-04T03:42:00.002+08:00

I am feeling very lonely.

Wow I can't believe I just confessed that. But it's not like anyone would care anyway *shrugs*

I've not been in love for quite some time now. I have the ability to amaze myself.

This is one of my retarded picture:

That guy behind me is my classmate.

I.... actually forgot his name.

Sigh :(

And i know i have such a bad hair in my Admin card's photo.

Tell me about it i look like... a potato.

You want to date a potato? heehee

Crosses and circles,

farah

HO MY GAWD

2010-09-03T04:20:00.003+08:00

I FREAKING CAN'T WAIT FOR MY EXAMS TO BE OVER !

In the meanwhile, I just have to face with:

-Marketing (Double fuck this)

-Business Law (Triple fuck this)

-Business Finance (Hate finance)

-Essentials of Finance and Management Accounting (Fuck this also)

-Unlimited supply of stress

-Pressure

-My ugly handwriting (K la my handwriting also nice sometimes ok!!)

-Aching back

-Studying till almost 4am

-Not watching gossip girl

-Not being able to sleep longer

-Not being able to go shopping

-Not being able to go bazaar

-NOT BEING ABLE TO FEEL STRESS-FREE

I've been studying under the block from like 10pm to like almost 4am. That is like 6 hours I can die. It's 4.25 in the morning now and I CAN FINALLY HAVE MY REST!! Hope all of this will be paid off and I hope I will pass with flying colors ( I know this sound super primary school-ish ..'FLYING COLORS' but REALLY ! im serious , dudeee [pronounced as doooood] )

ON THE FLIPSIDE,

Hari Raya is exactly in a week!

3 more days till my first paper.

HO MY GAWD.

(yeah it's HO not OH)

3 more days to go. And i still can't believe that I will be going shopping on saturday (tomorrow) and working on sunday.

HO MY GAWDDDD.

Good luck to me man.

crosses and circles,

farah

we speak no americano

2010-08-31T03:31:00.006+08:00

I feel so lazy when I don't have any pictures to show. Camera spoil mah, what to do?

Aisyah take pictures also never upload. Maybe after I'm dead then she upload. But nvm la at least whoever that wanna announce my death in the obituary can use the pictures that Aisyah uploads (after my death) so that I'll look young and presentable in the papers.

Hahaha kk makes no sense.

Actually I've been going out alot la. Don't think that I didn't update my blog means I have no life eh, please eh, favour, jangan macam macam. I go out almost everyday. Okay scratch that. To think about it, I WENT OUT EVERYDAY ! Yah serious. Daymmmm now I feel so tired just thinking about it.

Anyway I'm currently in my living room - dining table to be exact - forcing myself not to stop revising. Yeah it's freaking 3.35 IN THE MORNING NOW ! Studied accounting for like 2 hours already and I feel so damn sleepy. Well at least i covered 6 LECTURES !! need to rush rush rush.

I FINALLY BOUGHT MY HARI RAYA KEBAYA ! Wah liao for a moment I thought I was going to be kebaya-less on hari raya cause like what i said, NOTHING APPEALS TO ME !! The nice ones are expensive, and ugly ones are cheap. So i had to search and search and finally bought a kebaya... at Tanjung katong complex, AGAIN, which costed...... ready to know?

$250.

FOR ONE PIECE OF KEBAYA.

ONE.

SATU.

$250.

If it was my money i think i'll die. OR maybe have a heart attack first then die. Or maybe just keep on fasting till I die. Thank God it's my dad's money. But then ah I haven't tell him the cost of it. alamak i hope he wont give me that glare. you know that particular glare like "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING" kinda glare. Wah so scary.

ANYWAY I MADE A PACT TO MYSELF TO NEVER , NEVER EVER EVER , SHOP ONLINE EVER AGAIN !!!!

So frustrated okay with two online shops.

I haven't receive 2 dresses !! Waited for like 2 weeks already.

Email them , texted them, they say they'll check.

Ya ya check check then haven't arrive arrive?

I think when i'm dead then they arrive ah... make my blood go upstairs man, seriously.

One of my dresses came, but then she forgot to include another dress that i ordered. Sigh, missing piece. Then what to do ? - WAIT AGAIN.

Bye la i want to study again.

1 MORE HOUR TO SAHURRRRRRR !!

Gonna sleep after sahur. FINALLY.

Crosses and circles,

farah

changes

2010-08-22T00:27:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if am I just very unappreciative of whatever that has been happening in my life, or have I been trying to adapt to the insufficiency that's been killing me inside. It's not right if I were to say I didn't try, because I did. And it's called lying if I were to say I'm satisfied because I was never.

I just hope this is not permanent.
Or does this call for a change?

Crosses and circles,
farah

keep it on the low

2010-08-17T01:44:00.003+08:00

Courtesy of Najibonz and his iPhone.

I used to really hate iPhone cause I'm more of a fan of Blackberry though I don't own a blackberry, ha! Hate to admit that iPhone applications are so so cool and it somehow drive me to get an iPhone too but that means i have to change my plan and stuffs right ? Aiyah so leceh . Futhermore my current phone (e63) is only a few months old though it looked like as if it has been passed down for centuries thanks to my butter fingers for dropping it thousand of times.

I really loveee qwerty keypad like my phone and blackberry but i love the applications that iPhone can download so someone please invent like an appleberry phone or something. mate them both or anything. I'd be the first on the line to get that sort of phone ha, okay maybe not the first haha but i will get it. Or are there already any phone that is similar to the one i described ? you know i'm a step slower (okay lah maybe two steps) when it comes to all these uhm , technologies and what nots haha.

Anyway I finally had my muddy mud pie from coffee club damn itzooo good though i'd like it better if it were a little uhm , chocolatey instead of coffee-ish. Went to siglap's outlet with lubsie. Good ol' days where siglap's starbucks was our fav hangout place!

crosses and circles,
farah

2010-08-16T00:02:00.003+08:00

HIIIIIIIIIIIII
I've been a workaholic these past few days. It really drained all my energy out. On the flipside, I'm gonna get some rest and start flipping my lecture notes and kill some brain cells. Exams are approximately in 2 weeks so wish me luck. Buckets of it.

Since the start of Ramadhan, I've already went Geylang thrice. I don't know if it's just me or is Geylang just getting so boring already? I didn't really feel the Hari Raya hype when i went there probably because they kept on blasting out some jiwang malay songs instead of those hari raya songs. But yet again, the dengdengs never fail to dissapoint me although someone told me (forgot who) that dengdeng is made up of unwanted parts of the kambing such as the ears and nose and tongue and what nots haha sounds disgusting ey but who cares it's DENGDENG for crying out loud.

On a serious note, I HAVE YET TO BUY MY HARI RAYA BAJU ! What's new, anyway? -.-
I've been buying my hari raya baju at the very last minute for the past few years. Honestly not much bajus appeal to me. I like those lacey kebaya but sometimes they really over-do the lace cos there's just too much stuffs on the lace and it freaks me out. A good example would be those at the bazaar. I've been buying my baju rayas at Tanjung Katong Complex. My favorite stores would be the one you see when you take the escalator up to the 2nd floor. They sell nice kebayas there but i wanna try other different boutiques. Any recommendations?

Anyway, this may be weird but I've been seeing the number 23 everywhere for the past 4 or 5 months seriously I'm not kidding. Whenever i look at my watch or handphone or wherever, the time would always be something like 1:23am or 2:23pm or 5:23am..or when i wanna check how long more would the bus take to reach my bus stop, it would be something like 23 MORE MINUTES... WHICHEVER. and this would go on like about an average of 4 times per day IT IS REALLY FREAKING ME OUT. 4 times per day, going on straight for like 4 months. WHAT CAN THIS REALLY MEAN? Is God playing games with me or what?

Crosses and circles,
farah

2010-08-10T16:11:00.005+08:00

I just bought my first Steve Madden heels ! And because of that, I had to bid goodbye to $200. I don't know whether I should be happy upon the fact that I just bought Steve Madden heels, or I should feel effed up that I had to be separated with my hard earned $200. All in all, I think i can't wait to flaunt it around during Hari Raya HAHAHA.

And in 3 weeks times, I'm going to get THAT thing that I've been wanting, as mentioned in my previous entries. 3 weeks, and the surprise will be out! Hehehe
I've been saving real hard for it okay. Steve Madden is out of the topic.
Just 1 item won't hurt.............

Okay I'm off to work !

Crosses and circles,
Farah

Where should we start?

2010-08-03T16:06:00.003+08:00

Exactly in about a month and 3 days.

(Click for a bigger view)

Crosses and circles,
farah

I'm a genie in the bottle, baby.

2010-07-28T12:13:00.004+08:00

The Calvin Klein Bag that I bought!
Hurhur.
Somehow I feel a sense of satisfaction whenever I buy something using my own hard earn money.

Anyway, I overslept for school today =O
Okay nothing's new there actually hahahaha

Super stressed up now. French exam tomorrow, followed by Retail Studies on Friday. I'm gonna die i swear. I haven't even start anything on Retail

o.O

Anyhoos, payday coming soon! I won't even spend a penny of it. I'll wait for my next month's pay and combine them together and I'm gonna get something that I've been wanting! Hurhur. I'm not gonna use my parent's money to get THAT particular thing. Though it's gonna be hard trying to resist not to shop though. BUT I WILL TRY MY BEST.

MUST. PERSEVERE. AND. SAVE. MONEY.

Told some of my friends what I wanna get though and they said I'm crazy to spend such much amount on that thing hahahaha but I'm still gonna get it though. HAVE FUN GUESSING!

Crosses and circles,
farah

Runway

2010-07-22T23:18:00.005+08:00

Hi bitches.

Life seems better these days. It's not really THAT hectic as compared to my previous weeks. Things are slowly falling into places right now, or so I would like to believe. The whole Toni & Guy event has finally ended yesterday. Had my runway yesterday alongside with other 11 models. They're gorgeous. I'm glad that Ryan, my hairstylist, won the best junior stylist. Congrats dude. He's great. Look out for him at Heeren's Toni and Guy if you happen to have a haircut there. So, my runway went well though I was quite nervous and all. It was a private event where only the hairstylist, photographers and judges are allowed to be there because it was held at the salon itself unlike my previous runway which was held at Supperclub, damn cool. Anyhoos, after the event, 2 people came up to me and asked me if i would be interested to be their model in their upcoming Wella private party event this coming late September! They would be launching something new. I didn't really hear properly what they were talking about - but it has got something to do with launching their new product and/or the store so yeah. YAY to me. Can't wait for them to call!

Anyway, Wella is a brand associated with Toni & Guy. Some hair products. Bet you have heard of it. If not, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? 1990s?!
Hahahahaha

Though I know I'm not as pretty as compared to those other girls but well, opportunities don't come often so I better say Yes to whatever chances that comes along.

Peekchures.

School's ending next week, followed by my study break and then TADAH - the exams. JENG JENG JENG. I have 4 papers to sit for, and it would be held on the 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th September. And you've guessed it right. The following day after my last paper, which is on the 10th, would be Hari Raya. I don't know whether I should be happy upon the fact that Hari Raya is right after my last paper, or I should be feeling fucked up that I couldn't enjoy my last 4 days of Ramadhan.

Maybe both.

Anyhoos, met up with my girls just now after so long! Had a long talk with Iqah and Lubna while indulging ourselves with Macdonalds. I miss them. We've grown so much but they're still the best. No doubt about it.

I'm feeling a little bit dizzy right now, sigh.
GO AWAY UH HEADACHE YOU FUCKING IRRITATING UH.

Shall end this entry with an irritating picture.

Crosses and circles,
farah

Toni & Guy photoshoot

2010-07-16T03:45:00.004+08:00

The whole theme was '7 deadly sins' and we focused on GREED. We were going for the 'greek' look. Anyway, credits to Ryan the awesome hairstylist, Dan the awesome photographer and my awesome make-up artiste for making everything possible! ♥

p/s The thing on my head is inspired by the King Cobra :)

pp/s I only have 4 pictures of the photoshoot now! I will get the rest of the pictures on Wednesday ! Stay tuneeee

Okay so that's the 4 pictures I have with me now.

Anyway, these are the pictures from my digicam
during the process...
Enjoy the pictures :)

Crosses and circles,
farah

i need to grow a money tree

2010-07-06T00:57:00.002+08:00

I am officially broke hurhur.
So much for trying to save money!

Today is the 6th, and i think i've spent $500+ already I can die right now.
100 - Handphone bill.
50 - Bus concession.
10 - top up ezlink
50 - Make up at watsons
100 - 3 tops at Zara
179 - Calvin Klein bag (WOHOOOO I LOVE THE BAG SUPER MUCH!!!)
Took out 20 from my bank everyday to eat .
50 - pizza hut
20 - starbucks

SIALA I CAN DIE SIA OMG I REALLY NEED TO LEARN HOW TO SAVE !!
But I can't help it uh. I mean I won't bring my money to my grave right? So I might as well spend all of it while it is still there. Anyway the Calvin Klein bag i bought was damn super worth it ! It was on sale (OMG ALL HAILL G.S.S!!) Actual price before discount was $299 and I bought it for $179 OMGZXZ ALL HAIL G.S.S AGAIN !! hehe. And I know what I'm gonna splurge on for my next pay. Just 1 item, but i'm going to get it !

Crosses and circles,
farah

nonsense

2010-07-02T21:51:00.004+08:00

DAMN OLD PICTURE HAHAHA
2008/2009 ?!

HII !! It's been so long.
Don't even know if anyone would even read this, but still I don't really care hahaha. Anyway school started and it really sucks. Can't wait for the 1 month study break a.k.a 3 weeks holiday + 1 week major intense studying for me haha. Anyway it is damn frustrating because I've been gaining weight, AT THE WRONG TIME. My photo shoot is coming and I've been eating. Don't know why also. From 44kg to 46kg AHH I CAN DIEEE. No ah i'm not anorexic la i'm just very concerned about my weight. Later no one want to marry me, how? Correct? Hahaha. Anyway I hate it whenever I get my pay cause it'll be gone within 2 days. Okay not really GONE in 2 days la but it feels like it. For the past 2 months, i've been spending like 900 bucks in two weeks, and for the rest of the two weeks i'm broke like fuck. So this month i'm really trying to control my expenditure and stuffs like that. I'm even thinking of SAVING ! Wow farah *pats on back* I can't really save my money but i'm gonna try saving, AGAIN, for like the 10th time. And I really hope it would go smoothly as planned, and i hope i will not be tempted to take all the money out and march to forever 21 (just like what i did previously hahahaha). You can't really blame me though, i need new clothes to make me feel good. I think it applies to everyone, just that I REALLY rely on shopping to make me really happy -- but the aftermath? Damn depressed la my money all gone. But nevermind, the dresses are all worth it. Oh yeah, guess what !! I got an A for my oral in french language ! Cool now i can sound damn sexy already. Bonjour ;) And school, sigh, i really need to buck up on ALL modules!! I can do this yes I can.

Crosses and circles,
farah

Why ?

2010-06-25T13:49:00.000+08:00

Why?
I have no idea either.
I have been really confused with everything.
They say time will tell, but I've been patient but nothing is happening. Maybe God showed some signs but I chose to ignore because I don't wanna face the truth. Either way, life is a bitch.

Crosses and circles,
farah

Shots and bombs

2010-06-17T21:00:00.006+08:00

Picture taken over at Aisyah's room . Waited 2 hours for her to get ready . Asshole . hahaha

So I'm finally back on my bed after being away for two nights from home. No, I didn't ran away from home of course! Sleptover at Luby's on the first night, whereas my second night was spent over at Aisyah's.

Did nothing much on the first night (tuesday). Just hanged around with Lubna, Saf, Helmi and Khaled at East Coast Park till around 3 or 4am , I couldn't really remember. It was damn fun cause there were two cars and they somehow speed their way through to ECP with the music blasting out loud.

My second night with Aisyah was definately memorable although I couldn't really vividly remember what happened haha. Slept over at Aisyah's. Headed straight for the bed when we reached her place and woke up around 11am ? Ordered macs for lunch , and slept back till 6pm . Headed to the coffeeshop near her place and had dinner. So yeah perangai babi much ? Lol .

Supposed to head to Toni & Guy today though but I overslept, plus I was damn tired. So I hope it is quite excuse-rable haha. I might be going there tomorrow cause Ryan need to measure my head (sounds retarded) for some stuff. I'll be having my first Toni & Guy photoshoot next month ! And my second runway next month too. So excitinggg. My theme is 'Greek' and they're gonna get someone to do gold manicure and pedicure on my nailsss. My make up's gonna be in gold , even my lips. Can't wait for the photoshoot!

Crosses and circles,
Farah

Love.

2010-06-16T04:08:00.009+08:00

Time check : 4.08am

I'm over at lubna's place right now. Saf and lubna are asleep while im just lying down blogging away. Gonna sleep over at her place for 2 nights I think.. afterall I need to make full use of my holidays right ? I think schools are retarded. Torturing us with assignments for like 2.5 months and they're giving us 2 weeks of holidays in return. That is totally inhumane to be honest.

Anyway i have noticed that I would usually update my blog at night. Reason being is that I would only feel at ease and calm when night falls. I need to be surrounded by silence, and that is the time when i could really pour out what i feel inside. But somehow or rather i am held back from exposing my innermost feelings here in my blog because i do not want any misintepretation to occur.

But all that aside, this is my blog afterall, right?

Well sometimes I feel that everyone should take a break from what the community and media have moulded us into, and how being in 2010 has made everything, including our feelings and emotions, change into something that everyone is foreign to.

Back in the olden days, everything was basic. That pretty much includes conversations, understanding people, and even showing basic signs of affections and love. There was no complications, rules or regulations on how people should love, or even how we should be respected. Nothing much is conveyed through verbal conversations because they know that words couldnt beat the sincerity and honesty when you do something, or prove something physically by Actions.

What about now? Even the word Love has a defination for it in the dictionary. So are we supposed to depend on its meaning to convey our love to another? What happened to showing Love, care and affections through Actions?

We could all say that we love one another, it is that simple. But haven't you realise how cliche and boring it would sound like when you speak those three words now ? - I Love You.

Imagine if i told you that i love you BUT without showing any signs of affections to you. Would you still be convinced that I love you ? Or would you feel that it is nothing but a piece of bullshit (Even maybe worst than bullshits) ? Saying those three words would mean nothing if it is not supported by actions - that holds the sincerity and purity of it , which forms the perfect formula that could create a magical feeling , that is even better than love . To which , i could ensure you that not even a word in the dictionary is fit enough to be in that level so high, higher than love.

Have you ever thought why is it that it is very simple for someone to show hatred and grudges towards someone so clearly , demonstrating it well enough for the surrounding to realise ? Why is it that anger and frustrations could be seen so easily without us trying hard ? I am very sure that whenever you guys say that you HATE somebody, you would have really smashed reality and smear it directly on the person face (unfornate enough for him/her)

Even if you were to have sex with somebody, you don't just go to him/her and say "HEY BABE I WANT TO FUCK YOU TONIGHT" but switch on your TV afterwards and watch world cup (bleargh, world cup -.-). Well, maybe some of you would (you retards), but what would usually occur after saying that ? You get a bed, pillows (well maybe) and start fucking each other with all sorts of positions in mind. You SHOW that you want to have sex through ACTIONS. You can't just say that you want to have sex with someone and then tell them that you want to have sex MENTALLY (hahaha doing sex mentally, what the fuck? LOL) or by using some special physic powers right? Of course you have to drink some Redbull (or what have you) to get the ACTION going.

Why couldn't it be the same like how we show Love to another ? If I could, i would have erased that word off from the dictionary, because i do not think that it should be defined by words, because Love itself should be plainly defined through actions. Love itself holds a different experience and meaning to every individual, so it is retarded if all of us on the surface of earth were to flip the pages on the dictionary to find its meaning, because dude, that would make us imbeciles.

I just wish everything was easy like how it used to. What we all need in love is Assurance. We need to be assured that it is real, pure, and not just words that are empty.

We need to learn how to demonstrate and show Love.

Time check : 5am
I took an hour to type this entry, it's time to sleep.
Goodnight.

Crosses and circles,

farah

Hi holidays

2010-06-12T03:11:00.002+08:00

Picture taken in my room on my damn messy but possessive bed.

Anyway, the holidays are finally here ! I'm not sure what my plans are for the holidays but I'm definately going to Sentosa on one of those days. Gonna get some tan after such a long time ! I used to head there regularly like once every week. I love the sun-kissed skin tone cause it is like super victoria's secret-ish but it's damn hard to get the perfect shade ! I'd probably never get that skin shade but it doesn't kill to try , right ? But somehow when I get a little darker after a tan I'll tend to regret a little bit because I will start to miss my fair skin sigh I'm damn fickle haha

But of course my first priority is to sleep.

So the world cup has just started. I don't give two fucks about it because it holds nothing beneficial with regards to my own life. So what if it's only once every four years ? I AM BORN ONLY ONCE IN A LIFETIME but yet no one makes a big fuss about it .

It gets a little retarded at times when I see a group of guys sitting at the coffeeshop watching a football match and screaming away every few minutes expecting a goal, whereas the football players in the other hand are also screaming for a damn ... ball.

Nevermind, maybe it is just me.

Alright i'm off to sleep !

Crosses and circles,
farah

Naisha

2010-06-07T18:11:00.006+08:00

Iqah and I.

Pictures taken at work beneath Porshe Design's counter. Haha, well basically this is how we behave at work. Lol, you wouldn't wanna imagine the stuffs we do just to occupy our time !

Anyway, to those who have not heard, truth to be told, Yes, I've broken up with Megat. Stop asking me why and what happened, because some things are meant to kept private. I need space to just breathe and it's not helping when questions are constantly rolling in. You get what I mean ? Haha but I think everything's fine now. I'm able to cope with it probably because I've went through this before. I believe that what doesn't kill me just makes me stronger. After all, good things would always come to an end. There are highs and there are lows.

All I can say is that we're still friends. It's kinda retarded if we were to completely stop contacting each other since we used to be damn close, right? Haha.

Apart from that, things has been fine for me. School work kept on piling up, and at this rate, I can totally become a retard at the end of the week. I've been going out with my girls often to Karaoke, Sheesha and we sleptover at Lubna's. And the reason why I've not been updating is because my dearest NOOR AISYAH thinks it's funny when she doesn't upload the pictures up. Aisyah, it's ok. I know where I stand in your life now. I stand behind the yellow line. HAHAHA (okay joke of the year).

Anyway, to Aisyah : CB UPLOAD GMBR LAAAA HAHAHA. LOVE YOU MISS YOU.

Oh yea I've been actively replying questions in formspring! Haha it's kinda fun actually to log in and read the questions lol. Love you guys so much !

Crosses and circles,
Farah

Busy busy bee

2010-05-27T23:29:00.003+08:00

Been damn busy ! A whole lot of things happened. It's just the same shit but different day, lol. I have so much to tell but so little time.
Plus it's like the exams week and uh it totally sucks alot.
Business finance, business law and some other boring modules. Wtf?
Anyway I'll be updating soon yeap, like a REAL update with pictures.

BTW DO NO WATCH 'THE ABANDONED' CAUSE IT SUCKS A WHOLE LOT.
Watched it earlier with Luby and Aisyah.

Anyhoos, I've been replying questions at formspring! Soooo.. go check it out, if you want to. Haha

And I really think I need to buck up on my french language. Oral exam is in next 2 weeks and all i know is "Bonjour, Comment tu t'appelles? Je m'appele farah. J'ai dix-neuf ans. "

Pathetic.
Anyone is kind enough to teach me french? Preferably some hot french guy hurhur.

Crosses and circles,
farah

you

2010-05-22T02:54:00.008+08:00

Crosses and circles,
farah

Oh, snap

2010-05-14T03:23:00.000+08:00

Dear Allah,
Hi. Do you think my life is a joke? Because I think it is.
I really couldn't decide on what should I be right now. A toilet bowl or a dustbin, because I have been receiving alot of shits lately. Even a toilet bowl have the ability to flush the shits down. So what am I supposed to do with the shits I'm facing right now? Let it smack me right in the middle of my forehead? Or throw it back at you? I can't do the second one because you are God. The Almighty one. Haha, ok sorry Allah i was just joking when I said I wanted to throw the shits back at you. Ok but yes, back to what I was saying. *Clears throat* It's been rough for me. Everything. So please Allah, please help make my life be a little bit better? Insya'Allah, Amin. Thanks, your cooperation will be greatly appreciated. I love you.

On the flipside, I am fucking sleepy right now. But my dearest babygirl Lubna told me to publicize her blog to all of you. And you might find similarities with both of our blogs though, because being Lubna the KPO, she wanted to have the same blog template as me. Hahaha! Ok her blog is : HTTP://WWW.LUBYLIPS.BLOGSPOT.COM

And yes, I love you Lubna. Thanks for always being there for me, especially just now.
You were there at the right time. I'll be there for you when you need me too. Just don't do stupid stuffs alright.

Remember this picture lub?

Oh and of course, how could I forget Najib Anwar, right?
Stop feeling pathetic alright. You are not pathetic.................... (Please understand that I am being very sarcastic right now) HAHAHA OK I AM KIDDING ABOUT IT. You are seriously not pathetic. Everything will be fine for you. And you know I'll be there for you, anytime of the day. I'm just a call away. I'll meet you under the block to be there for you even though I have not taken my shower yet. I am not kidding about this guys, because .. secret reveal #8678 : When i hang out with Najib under our block in the morning, we'd usually don't take our shower yet cause after smoking about 2 sticks, we'll head home and sleep again. Perangai babi. HAHA. Don't worry najib, everything will be fine for you. Really. Mark my words.

Please smile like that more often Najib..
Don't be sad.

Ok.. I'm gonna sleep now.
Goodnight world.
I've got a mission at night. To clear my shits. Not through my ass though. I'm referring to Life's Shits. Ya know what I'm talking about dawgggg ? Uhuh uhuh *add in some hip hop accent* Peace out.

Crosses and circles,
farah

The Last Song

2010-05-13T15:08:00.006+08:00

Watching The Last Song with my baby Megat later ! Well I hope we could watch it today since the movie was released yesterday I think. Or is it today? Whichever, I hope there's some good seats available though.

Anyway, due to some requests from you guysssss, I'll be updating an entry soon on how I met Megat. Kinda shy to share it with you guys though =/

Alright I'm gonna take an hour nap and wake up and get readyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
I'll be in Orchard I guess ? Cya guys around !

Oh and yea, I've answered questions in my formspring already! Sorry for the delay :(
Click this link : http://www.formspring.me/farahsuhaila

Crosses and circles,
Farah

Midnight L

2010-05-11T23:12:00.010+08:00

Let it be.

Crosses and circles,
Farah

I never told you

2010-05-08T02:47:00.010+08:00

Lit the candles up, define the steps, serenade me with your melody and I'll follow your beat.

Crosses and circles,
farah

happyzzzz

2010-05-06T00:28:00.004+08:00

Before I start rambling nonsense, just wanna tell you guys that I'm going to answer all Formspring questions over at my Formspring profile. I think it's easier for both you and me... I think? It's definately easier for me la but I don't know what about you. Lol, anyway my link is :

HTTP://WWW.FORMSPRING.ME/FARAHSUHAILA

Anyway, I'm a REALLY VERY TOTALLY HAPPY GIRL TODAYZZZZZZ
My day was really boring and ZZZ in the morning till early afternoon cause I had to go PULAU TEKONG (I know right?) with my school for some National Education thingy. I have no idea why on earth they brought us there because honestly, I am totally not an inch interested of how's the food there or how they shave their head or how they proudly tell us that they shower together. Major triple tak perlu. But yes, the best part was when I had the chance to hold the rifle. I don't know if it's called the rifle but it looks like it? It was a fake one i think! Well you know like those in the arcade? Yea I held that and had the chance to shoot some stuff on the screen. It was sooo cool but the rifle was damn heavy. But guess what? I passed my shooting ok. First it was my mouth - because when I talk I just sembarang shoot. Now it's the rifle. Wow I really got the skills huh? Haha

Well the best part of the day was when Megat picked me up in school (at about 5pm) and we headed to Orchard for a shopping spree !

Here's the summary :

- Headed to New Look @ 313 somerset where I surprised Megat. Well he really love one top over there. So while he was in the changing room trying some other top, I quickly got the top that he wanted and paid for it. So I called him to go out of the changing room after that and I surprised it with him! HEHE

- Megat treated me to Pastamania @ Cathay cineleisure. Kinda dissapointed with their mussels and clams with home made soup (MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE AT PASTAMANIA!!). But anyway thanks baby for the treatttt. BURPPP.

- Went around orchard. Megat wanted to buy a top from FCUK but no size so he was damn sad after that.

- I saw a very beautiful Emporio Armani Bag but it was like 500 bucks! Gonna wait for the Great Singapore Sale la.. It's damn nice la I really need to get it. Hope the price slash to at least 50% or something? haha. If not I'll just get the pink bag at Armani Exchange. $200. Cheaper.

- Next it was my turn to get really sad cause I had cash with me but I couldn't find anything nice la! It's always like that. Went to Miss Selfridge, Topshop, Forever 21, FCUK, River Island ... NOTHING. NOTHING NICEEEE AHHH... fucking frustrated and I was pulling a very long face.

- Headed to New Look (again) but this time it was ION's outlet. And then that was when it all started baby...

- Got 4 tops and 1 skirt. FUCKING NICE OK. I took a long time in the changing room though hehe. Went to the counter to pay for it but apparently my boyfriend decided to be sweet and paid for me! Totally unexpected la! $100 plus ok... Felt bad la at first but.. THANKS BABY I REALLY LOVE YOU !!

- Home sweet home.

- Ok Megat message me already

- Need to call him now

BYE !

Crosses and circles,
farah

Your hugs

2010-05-02T01:58:00.007+08:00

So hot .. Macam ayam goreng ..

Anyway, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! It is like 2 in the morning right now and I'm amazed that I'm not asleep yet. Put aside the fact that I've been acting more like Megat lately (which is sleeping early and waking up late - TRIPLE HAHA), I have work tomorrow. Full shift. 12 hours. Wow, I am really going to enjoy it.

Should be getting ample of rest right now but my eyes wont shut just yet since I was on the phone with Meggies goreng earlier. So theeeeeeeeeeeeen, I've decided to answer more formspring questions ! Hehe

1. Do you pray 5 times a day? Do you read the Quran? Why don't you wear a tudung? Why do you wear revealing clothes? Do you know that kissing your boyfriend will burn you in hell? Doyou know that smoking ruins your health?

Ok, see you in hell tooooooooo haha :)

2. heylo.. i'm a daily reader and i just wanna say that i loooove to read your posts.. why? you and bf so sweet.. haha. btw, i'm also in nyp. hope to bump into you then i can say "HI!!!" haha. stay sweet..

Haha hello there ! Omg thanks.. hehe i'm so shy now. Anyway! You're in NYP too?? Cool! What course? Tell me whats your name la so Megat and I can make friends with you in school and hang out or something hehe. Cya ;)

3. what a question. i think you are very pretty. you and ur bf how long? when getting married ? hehe

Hi !! Hehe thanks .. now I double shy lol. We just reached our first anniversary last month! Reaching our 13th month in about 9 more days :) And it's gonna be a looooong time till we get married. Hopefully we're destined :) Thanks for dropping by btw!

**

And yup, that's it! Only three questions for now.
Anyway, I had a sucky day at work just now. Was working from 4pm till 9.40pm. Stupid retarded man really twisted my mood around three-hundred-and-sixty-degree. Freaking pissed! Messaged Meggies Goreng and I told him that I needed his hug. I thought he wouldn't do anything regarding that message though so I didn't expect anything.

Then he called me and told me that he's going to get ready now to meet me over at my workplace. I was like "nooo baby you don't have to! you're going out with your family later!"

But then he insisted and before I knew it, he was right there, looking ever so charming with a wide smile plastered across his face. And I just have to mention that his broad shoulders looks like London Bridge man. So wide and so.. OooOohhhh~ I like~

He approached me and he wrapped his arms around me and tighten his grip. That was the very moment when I feel that everything is going to be all right. That was the very moment when I feel ... belonged and secured and definately surrounded with everlasting love.

So then I had my 1hr break and he was like "Baby you sad right? We go shopping k?

We ended up in Ion's Armani Exchange. Buying a pair of slippers each. Mine costing 60 bucks and his costing 70 bucks. I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE the slippers so much!! Really turned my mood three-hundred-and-sixty-degree around back to where it was supposed to be - before that freaking idiotic man spoil my mood at work, that is. Hmph!

Baby then headed to Woodlands to meet his family whereas I headed back to work. Showed my workmates what I just bought and they were like "60 FOR A PAIR OF SLIPPERS? YOU'RE CRAZY OR SOMETHING?!?!"

Ok they really made it sound like as if I just wiped my shit out of my asshole with a hundred dollar note or something.

Seriously I feel like as if I just burned the bucks just like that - But then when I looked back at the slippers, oh my, what a beauty you are. You better look good on my feets. Hehe
And now I wanna go have my beauty sleep.

Goodnight!

Crosses and circles,
farah

Dum dee dum

2010-04-28T23:07:00.005+08:00

Okay ! This is so exciting cause I have 4 questions in my Formspring ! Sorry lah, abit kiasu since this is my first time hehe.

1st question :
faragh your most dearest darling here ~aisyah~ i wanna ask u something. do you miss me ? :( cause i miss u damn terribly cibai !!!!

Tak, aku tak miss kau langsung. HAHAHA KIDDING. Of course I miss you.. even more than your beloved D.E.H okay! Hehe love you bitch.

2nd question :
you're mixed?

Hi !! Haha yea a little. My grandmother (father's side) is a Chinese so that makes my dad a half Chinese.. in which it makes me - a quater Chinese. Haha. But yea I'm mixed of Chinese and Javanese. Mum's a javanese :)

3rd question :
where do u buy your dress? they are so nice

Hello! Ummm they're from everywhere! Lol.. which includes Forever 21, Topshop, Far east plaza (you gotta search for the nice ones there), Pull & Bear .. and even Thailand. Haha go Thailand! Good stuffs :)

4th question :
are u a virgin?

Hello! Of course I am a virgin! hahahaha. Duh ? -.-

Sooo yup, that's it! Macam cool right answer answer question lol. I'm pretty curious also of what people wish to ask me!

Anyhoos, I know lah my blog boring already. I've been busy with school and work. As far as I'm concerned, I've never skipped a class from the 2nd day of school onwards. So proud of myself !

But though both Megat and I have been busy with our own life, I'm glad that he still planned a date for us -- which was today (Wednesday). Both of us attended school like normal and then we headed to Sakura International Buffet over at Orchard. Thanks baby for the treat :) We ate so much that we could barely walk after that! We then watched a movie - I.P Man 2 @ Cineleisure Orchard around 7.15pm. Yet again, thanks baby for the treat ! I really feel like a Princess today :) Next time make me feel like a queen ok? HAHA KIDDINGGGGG. Thanks for everything baby, I love you. And thanks for always sending me home and even accompanying me to take the lift cause you know I'm pretty scared to take the lift alone at night, haha. Thanks for all the hugs and kisses, they make me feel complete :) Thanks for the Goodnight kiss, they make me have a good night sleep.

I love you sayang !

Crosses and circles,
farah

formspring

2010-04-27T00:05:00.003+08:00

Created Formspring since everyone has it .. so I'm going to try this thing out too. I don't know what's the main purpose actually hahaha.

Yea for those of you who are clueless of what Formspring is, well it is actually a box where you type in your questions to me, and I will answer the questions that you've asked. I will either answer it here (on my blog) or just .. choose to ignore ? haha.

Well, the good thing is, you don't have to be shy asking me the questions or anything since you could stay anonymous. It is your preference to leave your identity behind or not so yeah. Sounds kinda cool, eh?

I've included the formspring box below in my entry.
You can start asking me/submit questions right about .......................... now?

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.formspring.me/farahsuhaila"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;http://www.formspring.me/farahsuhaila&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

Crosses and circles,
farah

One of those days when I really miss you

2010-04-22T18:13:00.005+08:00

When the dark clouds conquers the sky above us, and when night falls and the stars start to shine, I'd somehow be engulfed and surrounded with silence. Within these silence I hope to hear your breath on my neck and your gentle touch stroking my hair cause moments like these, they never fail to make me yearn for the warmth of my boyfriend. And within these silence, I yearn for an empty space accompanied with the sounds of the crashing waves. I'd convey with you just by looking through deep into your eyes, because I know you could look within, and feel the overpowering love I have for you.

I miss my meggies goreng so much, though it was only hours since I last met him - in school, that is. He's at the stadium now having some soccer stuffs while I'm left rotting in my room - with the lights switched off and hear the dramatic sounds of the thunder.

Crosses and circles,
Farah

Hey soul sista

2010-04-21T21:00:00.008+08:00

It's been the third day of school today, and as far as I'm concerned, all's good. Made new friends - which are obviously my new classmates. They're comfortable to be with. And they totally seem more relaxed, or so I would like to believe, as compared to my previous class. Haha no offence but, my previous class was filled with geniuses and there wouldn't be any doubt if I were to officially declare myself as the stupidest there? Lol. God, I feel so degraded calling myself stupid HAH. I felt the tense within the atmosphere last year, and trust me, I could have almost died due to the suffocation.

I'm not sure where I plucked my determinations from but somehow I feel that I am more encouraged to attend all lessons and be more focused now. Got my pupil fixed to the white board, books and appearance-challenged tutors (HAHAHA BUSTED). I'm slowly learning the art of becoming a nerd. If i were to have a third leg or probably a tail attached to my cute butt, I would kick my cute ass every single day to remind myself to buck up. Not drastically, because I wouldn't want to either. The stress load I experienced last year gave me the perfect VVIP ticket to hell.

Anyway, I somehow feel that I have changed. Not that anyone have ever seen the changes in me or pointed it out to me but, it is something that I think could only be determined by myself - for now, that is.

By the way, these are some random pictures taken not too long ago.

Rebel and Zirca last saturday before we unwillingly allow school to dominate our minds and screw the hell out of our lives. It was a fucking great night , considering that Lubna somehow stole the highlight for being the .. er , well .. to put it in a nice way - stealing the highlight for being totally random at the most unexpected moments. HAHA.

So long, suckas.

Crosses and circles,
farah

Just like a ghost

2010-04-16T12:58:00.002+08:00

So I passed my papers and got into Business Management Year 2 this coming semester. And then there would be 4 specialization to choose from when you get into year 2. They are:

Human Resource management
Supply chain management
Customer Relationship management
Retail Management

And I got into Retail Management ! Yeah finally studying something that I have interest in ! Who knows my attachment would be at Gucci Prada or Chanel ? HAHAHAHA ok that's impossible. But yeah I really want to venture out in the retail line since I was in secondary school. It would be so interesting! Who knows I'd be the manager of agnes b? CHEY hahahaha. Insya'Allah hopefully everything would be smooth for me. But I now have a slight gauge of how I want my career to be like. I have a direction. Finally.

So these are my modules for Year 2 Sem 1:

1. Essentials of Retail Studies
2. Business Finance
3. Essentials of Financial and Management Accounts
4. Marketing Management
5. ICT applications for Business
6. Business Law
7. National Education (WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFF?!!!!???!!!!)
8. French Language

uhuh, FRENCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Can you imagine me talking in FRENCHHHHHH ? Hahahaha that's gonna be so weird but yea I think it's sexy so maybe Megat would love it when I talk to him in French? HAHAHA! Padehal haprak pun tak tau.

Anyway, school stuffs aside.
It's gonna be Rebel, Zirca and (maybe) Le Noir tonight!
Ahh can't waitttttt. Last clubbing session before the start of schoooool

Crosses and circles,
farah

1st anniversary with Meggies goreng

2010-04-12T19:19:00.009+08:00

The surprise that Megat had in store for me was shared between my best friends. Everyone knew what Megat was gonna do for me - except for me. I was still left clueless till the very last second. It was kinda frustrating because I wanted to know as well but it was exciting cos of the thrill and all !

The only thing he told me was the theme -- WAITING.
Something that I suck at. I hate waiting but I guess good things doesn't come easy? So yeah waiting was my hardest challenge in this whole event!

Meggies told me to get start getting ready at 3pm and so I did. Got dressed and smacked some make up on. It was 4.30pm then. He was supposed to be fetching me up at 4.30pm but he was late (refer to the theme again -- WAITING) so I had to wait. Waited till 5pm at home till I got really bored so headed down with all my stuffs. Smoked and waited for him till 6pm. Yea that's 1 hr.

He came. He looked so handsome. So charming. I thought to myself -- This is the exact man that asked me to be his girlfriend exactly a year ago. What a lucky bitch I am.

He ushered me to the car and I was greeted with a stalk of rose on my seat. Wah baby, didn't know you could be that romantic hehe. Yea I've always wanted a stalk of rose ever since we got together but somehow he'll never get for me roses, and I have no idea why. Not only roses k, he'll never get for me any flowers. Got me thinking why though -- But that was so sweet of him to finally get a rose :)

It was when we were in the car, he gave me two choices to dine in. It was between Fish n Co. or Hei Sushi. So we decided to dined in at Fish and Co.'s glasshouse over at dhoby ghaut. He knew how much I wanted to eat Fish and Co ever since we got together , but yet again - we never did because he didn't wanted to. I have no idea why too? But he made me real happy that day though :)

Had Seafood platter for two. Cookie junkie and Pink passion for our drinks.
I know it's a little retarded to remember what we ordered but hey, memories, right?

So after the dinner he was making me more excited!
He blind folded me and forced me to pluck on to my ear piece and he blasted songs so loud that I couldnt even hear the car engine running!

He drove for an hour and brought me somewhere (refer to theme , again - WAITING)
But this is where I'd stop this entry.
Wouldnt tell you guys what was the surprise. Kinda confidential ;)
Actually, MEGA SUPER CONFIDENTIAL !

Excited want to know right?
HAR HAR HAR CANNOTTTTTTTTTTT .

All in all ,
I had a fantabulous day with you baby.
Everything. From the start till the very end of it. Thank you baby, thank you for putting your efforts, your heart and soul for this very special occasion just for me. I am touched, deeply touched. I love you. Thank you for making everything happen :')

Yet again,
Happy 1st anniversary, and many more to come.
Insya'Allah.

Crosses and circles,
farah

there is no guarantee, that this love is easy

2010-04-10T01:22:00.009+08:00

Sorry, it's been a while since i put up a picture of myself.
Lol.

Anyway, to my surprise (or maybe even yours since it did surprised a couple of poeple) , tomorrow would be the mark of my 1st anniversary with my boyfriend, Megat Hikal, whom I recently officially decided to refer him as Meggies Goreng.

Meet Meggies.
He is the one, for your information, the one whom made me blush when I first saw him crossing the road. He was the one who blew me off my feets. He was the one who made me crazy waiting for his messages when we exchanged numbers. He was the one who made me roll around my bed just by hearing him saying "Hello" on the phone. He was the one who gave me the appetite to eat every single food i see because I was so in love. He was the one who tried to memorize a couple of malay songs lyrics just to sing it to me although he suck at memorizing lyrics. He was the one whose smile i see whenever i close my eyes. He was the one whose smell still linger around me although it has been hours after we met. He was the one whom made me feel on top of the world. He was the one whom made everything else perfect with just his presence. He was the one who cared. He was the one who made me smile all alone. He was the one who made me have butterflies in my stomach just by thinking about him. He was the one whom made me the happiest girl alive.

But.

He was also the one who crushed my hopes and dreams. He was the one who also brought me to my lowest point. He was the one who made me believe that there is no such thing like a fairytale. He made me believe that things will never be easy. He made me believe that love isn't all sweet. He showed and brought me to the hardest points of life. He was the one who made my heart broken. He was the one whom broke the wall of trust I have for him. He was the one who made me cry. He was the one whom made me believe that I suck. He was my biggest nightmare. He was the one whom made me humiliated and ashamed. He was the one who did something I never wished he would. He was the one who held me up so high but loosen up his grip and let me fall down, hard. He was the one who made me give up in both life and love.

So what do you call it?
Love?

When I first experienced being in a relationship, I was a noob. Nobody thought me how to love. Nobody told me the meaning of love so I didn't even have a gauge of how it is supposed to be, or how it is supposed to feel like.

When I first experienced being in a relationship, I made mistakes because nobody told me what was right or what was wrong.

When I first experienced being in a relationship, I was hurt, but i thought it was OK to feel hurt. I felt so hurt that I could feel the intense burst within my heart. I was deeply hurt but I thought it was normal getting and being hurt so I couldn't care much. I forgave. I keep on forgiving. I didn't know if what I did was right, but I forgave anyway, because I didn't know how LOVE is supposed to be like.

I had no direction. I had no clue. Nobody knew. Nobody had rules or regulations for love. But everybody holds experiences.

I had experiences. And I am going to experience more experiences with Meggies. Insya'Allah.

So what do you call it again?
Love?

The meaning of LOVE differs. Everybody experience different situations and relationships. Nobody felt the same way like others do, because some of us are stronger than the others, some of us knew what to do, some of us are just clueless.

And I am clueless.

I have this HUGE feeling for him.
But I hate him, too.

So what do you call that?
Is Love supposed to be a love-hate relationship?
I keep on asking myself that throughout my relationships.

But today, today I found the answer that I have been looking for.

I was on the phone with Meggies and this was how the conversation went.

Farah : baby, no matter how much or how hard u try to fix a mistake, things will never be the same again, just like how u try to fix a broken glass and put the pieces back together

Megat : Always remember this sayang, but whenever u heat and melt the broken glass, u can make it into a better and nicer glass after that with no holes or cracks. Things will always be beautiful again. Have faith in me. I love you

Love is when you know you would still want to be with him even after going through the hardest obstacles in a relationship. Love is when you find yourself being there with him although you think you are the stupidest and retarded person on earth for STILL staying and hanging on to him after all the bullshits you have gone through with him but still think that the relationship is worth saving.

You proved to me what love is.
You are the love of my life.
I love you Megat Hikal.

Happy advanced 1st anniversary.
There is no guarantee that this love is easy,
but I know we can do it. Through whatever, I will be here.
For you I will.

Crosses and circles,
farah

Aww baby, i love you too

2010-04-05T00:10:00.004+08:00

Meet the love of my life and my baby ganyut, Meggies goreng :)
Do not ask me why I call Megat - Meggies Goreng. Like cute like that right lol
And this is one of the many many videos in my phone -- but the sweetest one, ever.

p/s When he said about my Brothers, he meant me real brothers. Two of them :) I have 4 heroes and 1 heroine in my life. My dad, Along, Abg Sham, Meggies goreng and of course, my beloved mum :) The ones that keeps me going. (And of course my besties also hehe)

Last but not least --
I am .... CAT WOMAN.

Crosses and circles,
farah

2010-04-03T15:08:00.001+08:00

Here goes an update on Megat's smashing 21st birthday!

To start it off, Megat has no idea what I've in store for him on his birthday. I've planned all the suprises for him like 2 - 3 weeks before just to make it perfect on his special day as he totally deserve to feel special on his big day.

His birthday was on a Monday. I was working on Sunday and he decided to pick me up from work since I wanted to be the first to wish him on his birthday! I end work around 9.40pm but he came earlier. TSKKK ! Thus I gave him an excuse of wanting to count my stocks in the store but I actually rushed down to the chocolate cake shop - Canele @ Shawhouse to get for him a molten cake as a birthday cake! Texted him to meet me at Mc cafe infront of shaw house. I lit the candles before I walked towards him and I could see him smile widely from far while I was walking towards him. I know i was early for 3 hours to wish him on his birthday but I had to suprise him on the spot cause it was a molten cake and it would melt if i were to give it to him later! Glad he loved it though :) He loves molten cake.

After work, we headed back to his hometown and slacked under his block until the clock strikes twelve! Glad I was the first to wish him though hehe. Sang for him and did stupid dance lol, i look stupid but we had lots of fun! Took the cab around around 1.30am and I swear I was shagged but that didn't matter cause hey, it's his 21st birthday after all!

So this is when the real entry starts -

I woke up around 10am, got ready and cabbed down to his place to pick him up. Note that he is STILL clueless about what's in store for him hehe. Headed to habourfrount and we took the shuttle bus to --

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS SINGAPORE !!!!!!

Boy was he damn happy man. He couldnt stop saying thank you and kissing me all over hehe. Glad he was suprised and super elated! Well he SHOULD be feeling that way, anyway. LOL

Bought the tickets and well -- bet you guys wanna see the pictures now so here goes :)

p/s was using my phone's camera so please excuse the shitty quality.
pp/s wouldnt upload all the pictures though cause if i were, there's 100+ of them. Check the rest out at fb if you want to.

a

I had mad awesome fun cause the rides was fucking great. The Eygpt indoor roller coaster is our favourite. The surrounding's really dark and all and it was fucking scary but damn I LOVE IT SO MUCH !!

Anyway we bought two stuffs. A betty boop phone chain for me and Revenge of the mummy keychain for him.

The rides closes around 6.15pm? We then we bid goodbye to Universal Studios and then walked around Resort World.. Took a look at the Victoria Secret outlet there (cos i wanted to) and damn was I totally dissapointed? Expected like a whole lot of handbags collection or any nice tops or whatever but yea it's really boring. Not worth the walk there haha.

So yeah meggies and I decided to have our dinner. He suggested to head over to Marina but I die die wanted to have swensens over at VivoCity cause --

I have actually called most of our close friends a few weeks ago to meet us up at Vivo rooftop on Megat's birthday after 7.30pm. Meggies didnt know about it though. HAHAHA. So i was trying to act cool and gave stupid excuses like Marina Square is a little bit to far (which in an actual fact, it really is, from vivo) and stuffs like I feel like eating the Steak from Swensens. AND I FINALLY SUCCEEDED IN CONVINCING HIM. Ahh a sense of victory.

Took the monorail back to Vivo and guess who did we saw? MUHAMMAD YUSOFF - STANDING NEAR THE ESCALATOR - WAITING FOR THE REST OF OUR FRIENDS TO SUPRISE MEGAT LATER. I was damn freaking shocked when I saw Yus there but thank God he was like "eh megat where you going" and "oh i went out with my friend la" wahhh thank god he know how to act if nottttttttttttt sigh.

Then I acted all cool, AGAIN, and I said to Megat "what the hell is Yus doing at vivo at night sia. Siao" HAHAHAHA. So anyway, we headed straight to Swensens and I was hoping we wouldnt bump into anyone or it would be too obvious that his friends are all there waiting for him at the rooftop.

So Meggies had Rib Eye medium rare with Baked potato and I had Medium rare steak with mashed potato.

After the filling dinner, Meggies wanted to head out of Vivo to smoke but I was suggesting for us to smoke at the rooftop but he kept on convincing that there's no smoking corner at the rooftop. But I somehow managed to convince him AGAIN though. Had difficulties finding where the guys were hiding and we finally saw them there sitting around the lit birthday cake.

They sang for meggies a birthday song once they saw us walking towards them and oh boy, meggies was damn shocked and -- SHY. hahahaha

Left to right : zul, meggies, najib, ogy, malik, yus

Im happy that my baby had fun on his birthday
I love you sayang. I really do.
Happy 21st birthday :)

Crosses and circles,
farah

2010-04-03T00:08:00.002+08:00

I feel like such a bad girlfriend for not updating about Megat's birthday celebration yet but trust me, I HAVE BEEN REAL BUSY WITH WORK -- And yea I need rest too when i get back from work thus explains the delay hehe but I'll update soon promise ;)

This reminds me that I have a real busy schedule ahead.

3rd april Saturday - Work 6pm to close.
4th april Sunday - Work full shift.
5th april Monday - Sentosa with the peeps in the Morning, Wan's chalet at night.
6th april Tuesday - Work Morning till 6pm
7th april Wednesday - Have to meet Ryan from toni and guy and discuss bout some stuffs
8th april Thursday - Work Morning till 6pm
9th april Friday - Nothing.
10th april Saturday -Work 6pm to close.
11th april Sunday - 1 YEAR ANNI !!!!!

Anyway, 8 MORE DAYS TO OUR 1st YEAR ANNIVERSARY !

Crosses and circles,
farah

MEGAT HIKAL

2010-03-29T23:46:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST AND MOST AMAZING BOYFRIEND IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD, MEGAT HIKAL BIN SALIM!

The thought of you being 21 (let me repeat, TWENTY ONE) is weird because i knew you since you were 19. Those were the days kan b? Haha but anyway, happy birthday and may you be blessed by Allah S.W.T and achieve your dreams and desires.

I love you b, always have and always will.

Updates soon :)

Crosses and circles,
farah

2010-03-27T14:16:00.007+08:00

These pictures were taken a few days ago over at Najib's Chalet at Changi. Well it was fun although the BBQ chickens took a gazllion years to be served since the fire starter was being a bitch. But it was nice that they prepared instant noodles, boiled hotdogs and fishball in the meanwhile for us to eat while waiting for the chickens. I was full after those alas perut though so I didn't really mind about the chickens haha! But whats a pit/chalet without the BBQ chickens right? So i did had a bite. About 2 chickens? Haha.

We played Musical chairs! The girls (lubna and Iqah) and I was the one who suggested it to everyone and then we started shouting and forcing people to play it with us. HAHA! It was really fun though

I like that shot above alot! Didn't notice it was taken but thanks to whoever that took it.
I have a thing with hugs from behind. I'd instantly feel loved haha so I can refer to that picture every now and then when i'm on my 'downs' periods haha.

Lubna was the winner.
She cheated. So not counted.
AHAHAHAHA

I've work later on. 6pm - 9.40pm
Sunday full shift 9.40am - 9.40pm
AND IM WORKING ON GOOD FRIDAY !! 9.40am - 6pm
ahhh double pay.
But so tiring la cos my workplace is at orchard.

I wanna get a Kate Spade bag on my second pay. First pay would be dedicated to my parents and Meggies.

The other time I went out with my mum, and feeling generous, I treated her to Ramen Ten (note that I wasn't even working at that period of time and still surviving on allowances and my savings) .. Walked around and decided to get my dad a Solvi Titus Watch that costs 290 which instantly burned a hold on my pocket. But nevermind, just wanted to make him happy.

Then the next day my mum was hinting me that she love the watch i got for my dad the previous day so I got the hint and promised her to get a new watch too, although she has billion of watches. ZzZzzzzzz

So... too bad but ive to sacrifice my first pay. Haha nvm, 2nd pay confirm kate spade dunch careeezzz!! Hopefully, lol. Or... bags from Marc by Marc Jacobs? HAHAHA BERANGAN BANYAK .

p/s if you notice, the dress i wore in the previous 2 entries and this entry is the same. I have it in blue and brown haha! I prefer the brown though.

Crosses and circles,
farah

Busy bee

2010-03-23T14:27:00.007+08:00

I got a job - finally ! Working at S.T Dupont Paris. Bet you haven't heard of it though. Don't worry. I don't even know it existed until I started working there. Hahahahaha

I'm very thankful to Iqah though cause she found this job for me. I'm totally loving my job because it is so freaking easy and my bestfriend Iqah is working next to me! Haha she's working at Porshe Design and my counter - S.T Dupont - is just next to hers!

So we basically kept on talking to each other and going smoke breaks and writting letters and walking around Agnes B and aim on getting some stuffs when we get our pay. HAHA! Yes, my workplace and Iqah's workplace is on the same floor as Agnes B, Dunhill, Polo Ralph Lauren, HE Mango, FRED PERRY, Adidas, Braun Buffel and many many more !!! How awesome can my job get sia seriously. Alhamdulillah.

Anyway, I bet you guys wouldn't even get anything from S.T Dupont cause honestly, I WOULDN'T AS WELL!! hahahahaha.

S.T dupont sells Cigar Lighters that costs an average of SGD$2,000. Yes a lighter costing $2k. Crazy right? And there's a pen selling for SGD$3000 but my workmate sold it already to a very rich man i suppose.

This cigar lighter probably cost a minumum of SGD2000 seriously trust me on this haha

And this pen looks so classy right !! ya, the price also very classy as well -.-
This is the limited edition Gold Prestige pen. Close to 3k I think? Forgot ah.

And their bags? They are freaking expensive!!! The cheapest bag around -- which is SUPER SMALL - cost around 2k! The cheapest lighter? $200. HAHAHA. But seriously I love the Rose Gold plated lighter that cost $2.5k if im not wrong.

For more information you could simply go to their official website. Some of their items are available though at my workplace -- http://www.st-dupont.com/en/

Most of my customers are mostly high-end and I am so envious of them!! Hmph gonna be like them one day i don't care. I'm gonna head down to S.T dupont in 10 years time and buy their $3000 Black-Mother-Of-Pearl Pen. Yea, made out of Real Pearl!!!

Anyhoos, I'm heading out with Meggies today. Gonna watch Alice in Wonderland at The Cathay @ Dhoby Ghaut.

Miss my baby so much :)

Crosses and circles,
farah

Wednesday night out

2010-03-19T01:18:00.000+08:00

crosses and circles,
farah

When I first saw you, I saw Love.

2010-03-13T12:41:00.015+08:00

I'm back home, bitchas. Thailand was awesome with a capital A. Shopping was completely a bliss since I didnt even fork out a single cent! Thanks ibu ayah I love you both so much!

I was there for 5 days and 4 nights. God I really love all the food there. It's nice and it's fucking cheap. 100 baht is equivalent to around SGD$4. Swensens' sticky chewy chocolate cost around er, 90 baht? The other normal food like mee or rice there cost around 20 baht. Yaaa tell me about it man! And I didn't took much pictures of myself there since I was totally lazy to do so.

Got home on Friday morning around 4am. I missed my baby tua so much. He was so cute cos he wrote for me a letter for me to read on my way to Thailand. He bought kinder bueno and a chocolate snack for me too! So cute!!

So anyhoos, my baby tua picked me up under my block in the afternoon. Passed him the goodies I bought for him and I'm happy that he love it! I was so happy to finally have him back in my arms and feel his warmth and smell his neck and wiggle on his tummy and pinch his nose and tickle him and irritate the hell out of him until he's outta breath. hahahaha. What made me happier was that he suprised me with .....

HE GAVE ME TWO LETTERS!
One for our monthsary, one for my return back to singapore.
So sweet kan my baby. hahaha. So cute!! Click on it if youre kpo and want to read, lol

And below is the letter he gave me before I went to Thailand. This one was for me to read it otw there hehe.

So we headed to Arab street and had our lunch at Minang, as usual! It's so cheap. Total cost was only $13.

Luby called and she met us at Bugis.
MISS HER SOOO MUCH!!!
AND MY OTHER GIRLS TOO.
Oh and yes, check out my heelssss. Bought it at Thailand for like SGD$10?!?!?!

Talked and stuffs and she went to meet omar whilst meggies and I headed to Iluma for our dessert! Love love love that shopppp damn they sell good chocolates haha. Our favorite there is obviously their chocolate molten cake which cost almost 10 bucks for a small piece of cake! Like seriously small. Smaller than the size of my palm. Yea, PALM, not hand. That's how small it is. Anyhoos we wanted to try something different so we ordered the chocolate crepe and their signature chocolate shake. At first we thought that it'd turn out to be too chocolatey or too 'muak' but it didnt cause the shake was REALLY VERY SMOOTH!!! The crepe was awesome too! Total was 16 bucks.

Oh yea if you followed me on twitter, you would probably know that Megat pimped my phone! Okay, not him la. We went to the G-mask shop and he paid for itttt. Look at how pretty my phone is now! Thanks baby ;) Love you

Just to flaunt my phone..
HAHAHA

Anyway these are the few bracelets i bought at thailand! The pictures does no justice cause it looks rly pretty in real life!!

Walked around and he accompanied me back home. Thanks baby, I love you I really do. And i miss you like I've never missed anyone. You know what baby? Nothing else in the world matters except for you. I don't care what people have to say about me, you, or us, because they have no idea about all the shits that we have gone through together. We don't have to pretend, or to act anything out. All the arguements and the hatred we have for each other are after all the things that I will have to learn to cherish since these things make me realise that though we are totally different at some aspects, we are still here for each other and going strong because of this special thing called love. I don't find the need to act the love out, or to pretend even for a second because this love, baby this love is pure and natural and it comes straight from my heart. I don't have to tell someone that I love you because I'm sure they could tell with their very own eyes that I'd go the other side of the world for you. And this love I have for you couldn't be elaborate or explained with words because it is only meant to be felt for it is world's most extravagant feeling that no words are able to match that particular feeling i have for you, and stored safely deep inside my heart -- which is entirely yours. Believe me baby, no matter what happens, you will still be the one.

Look at how far we've come. Happy 11th months. I know i'm two days late. But that doesn't matter because hell, WE'RE GONNA CELEBRATE OUR FIRST ANNIVERSARY NEXT MONTH!! ONE YEAR BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

Oh and yes, before I end this entry.
Just let me flaunt again

HHEHEHEHE

Crosses and circles,
farah

2010-03-06T23:07:00.002+08:00

Is it just me, or did time past really fast ?
Anyway, I've just been too lazy to update. I'm more active on twitter though. All that aside, I'll be updating next in about a week or so becauseeee -- I'm going on a holiday! With my parents. It will be just my dad, mum and I. I'm not sure if I'll do much shopping there since I'm going only Hanyai.. Somewhere around bangkok thailand there. But if there are any shopping centers or just some market like Bugis or whatever, TRUST ME, I won't miss the opportunity to shop hahahaha. We didn't buy the tickets back home yet though since we're not sure when we'll be coming back. My dad's on holidays and my mum's a housewife, so we have all the time in the world since I'm on my school holidays too! I hope it'll be fun.

Till then -
I love you Megat. Please miss me. You have to. You MUST miss me if not i kill you.
I'll bring home some goodies for you!
Kissy kissy mwah mwah

Crosses and circles,
farah

First entry with phone!

2010-02-28T19:11:00.002+08:00

Pardon me for any possible spelling errors or what nots since i'm using my phone to update!

currently sitting alone at toa payoh stadium. Was watching megat playing soccer just now. Balestier khalsa vs woodlands wellington. Final score 1 all, yeah. Baby almost scored though. And yes did i mentioned that i travel all the way here alone?! Thats 1 hr in the bus, mind you. And plus 90 mins flatting my ass on the concrete stadium steps.

he's in the changing room right now and i hope he wont take looongggg. You know boys and their changing room talks. I really wonder what do they talk abt in there.

god, i am so hungry!!! I have yet to eat, pleazeee. Anyhoos, its kinda weird cause these days i tend to crave for er, rice and dishes. Like malay fooood. Pure malay like ayam masak merah or lemak cili padi ! Yumzzzz . Im drooling right nowzzz . But im craving for mos burger too, how?

okayzzz stadium is soo empty now....

Crosses and circles,
Farah

cherywinter

2010-02-27T10:08:00.007+08:00

Exams over ! Woah, that's one hell of a load off my shoulders, man. Don't think I would do well anyway but shan't talk about it since it's done and over with.

ANYWAY! Met meggies (which refers to Megat) right after my final paper! He was sweet to get for me lemon barley since I was getting sick. And he brought a bread with nutella spread from home cos I told him I was hungry. So sweet!

Got home, rest for a little while and then it was -- SLEEPOVER TIME!
Iqah, Aida and myself sleptover at luby's !
And this is where I'll stop my entry for now cause I don't have the pictures and they haven't send it to me yet. Alah, anything u just see iqah's blog ok she confirm update one. hahahahaha

Going out with baby today!!!!!!!!!!! Ok so excited! Like FINALLY we're going out cause we (especially him) has been SUPER busy!

Anyway, I know iqah and lubna would all go "what the fuck is wrong with you" when I tell them this ---

I HAVE STARTED PLAYING MAPLE!!!!
check it out. It's meggies and I. Which equally refers to -- Xica and CheryWinter. HAHAHAHAA

Crosses and circles,
farah

just for a little while

2010-02-21T17:11:00.004+08:00

Taking a break from all that intense studying. Okay, not really intense actually since I'm actually giving my attention more to Restaurant City !

Anyhoos, I'm back on twitter. Placed the twitter widget in my blog (scroll down, it's on the left hand side) and I've changed the song ! Omg I love this song. It's playing with fire by Ndubz featuring Mr. Hudson. Go listen ;) I love the video and the content of the lyrics. Somewhat reveals the truth out of every guy. What makes it interesting is that three guys are actually singing that song so doesn't it futhur prove the intensity of the brutal truth?

Tomorrow's my macroeconomics paper. Hope it wouldn't turn out hard or else...
Wish me luck. 3 more papers to go and then I'm down with maple. Yes, maple.
Gonna give maple a try since Megat is hooked on to it. Maybe when he ignores me because of maple, I could log in with my own maple account and find him there and ask him to stop maple and call me!! HAHAHAHAHA

Crosses and circles,
farah

bye bye

2010-02-17T20:43:00.004+08:00

You're the simplest love I've known,
And the purest one I'll own.

I'll be abandoning my blog yet again for around a week since my semestral exams are around the corner (!!) . To be specific, my first paper (Marketing) is in 2 days time. Followed by Macroeconomics on Monday, Statistics theory for Business on Tuesday, and Accounting on Thursday.

DIE DIE DIE.

I don't like studying because I will be so stressed out. And when that happens, I'll be broke since I would be buying a cigg pack every 2 days. And when I study, I'll tend to stay up late till around 5am or so, and I will keep on eating and eating to keep myself awake. Fuck studying la seriously.

Crosses and circles,
farah

Valentines day

2010-02-15T13:45:00.016+08:00

My valentines' day this year was the best that I've ever had. It was a simple celebration though since there's nothing much that we could do considering that 99.9% of the shops was closed. Damn annoying please! I was craving for bubble tea and it doesn't help an inch when most of the shops that sells bubble tea hires china workers. FML.

Anyhoos, the day started off with me picking Megat up under his block. It has been ages since I last picked him up. We were planning of going to Compasspoint since one of the bakery there allows us to decorate an already made cake with colorful icings! But we skipped that idea at the very last minute and headed straight to East Coast Park for our picnic & kite flying session.

I was really touched by his mum's super sweet gesture! Megat and his family was having their own home-made-seoul-garden lunch thingy in the afternoon before I met him, and since Megat told his mum that he's going picnic with me, she cooked for me prawns and beef and scallops etc etc. She even packed for me soto ayam please! She makes the best soto ayam, I swear it was delicious! Thanks auntie, although i know that you wouldn't be reading this.

Back to what I was saying -- Bought 2 kites once we reached. I was super excited cause it was my first time kite flying after about 12 years -- or somewhere around that duration. We bought bubbles too!

Found a spot, laid the newspapers down (since Megat's mat was oily due to the beef, prawns etc), and I was the first one to attack the food.

Honestly and to be brutally honest, Megat seriously suck in kite flying! His kite couldn't even go up a storey high! So much for wanting to challenge me, huh? Haha! My kite, in the other hand, *ehem* flew beautifully high up in the sky *flutters eyelashes*

Ok kidding.

Not really THAT high, but QUITE high though and -- Obviously higher than Megat's *grins

MINEEEEEEE
MINEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
WINNIE THE POOOOOH

And okayla,
to be honest right -- I was actually running around ECP like a retard trying to make my kite fly for the first hour. But it just wouldn't go up high I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY IT IS SO FRUSTRATING I SWEAR !!

Anyway, I bet you guys have heard/played the game called 'spot the difference' right?
Now come let's play spot the idiot -- and the kite .

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HEHEHEHEHE
TIRED AFTER RUNNING AROUND -.-

COME -- ANOTHER PICTURE

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hahahahahaha
obviously running -.-
picture below also. hehe

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's the best i can do. The man beside me was also flying a kite.. his kite was sooo up high it exceed the picture frame.

THANKS FOR THE DAY BABY I LOVE YOU!!

Crosses and circles,
farah

4 stars

2010-02-14T00:22:00.008+08:00

Today baby and I went to his cousin's chalet at Costa Sands Resort. His cousin's name is Megat Indra Putra, nice right !! 'Megat' is some sort of a pahlawan/warrior title so that's why his cousins and all have the same first name. 'Megat' for boys and 'Putri' for girls. If only my name got 'putri' :( So jealous of people with nice names. My name like no climax like that. It's like super malay-ish. Farah Suhaila ?!?! Haha. But nevermind, must bersyukur that at least my name is not like petom and puteh. Sorry to those people with that name.. Didn't mean to hurt you.

Anyway! Baby picked me up under my block and we reached his chalet around .. 7pm if I'm not wrong. Saw alot of familiar faces.. of which most of them are baby's soccer mates. You seriously have no idea how many soccer friends Megat has. They are EVERYWHERE. So pening sometimes walk with him at town or anywhere.

Oh yes, I love chalets because of the BBQ. I love it more when I don't have to BBQ the food. Come only the foods are ready. Excellent! Where can get this kind of service? When we BBQ the foods at seoul garden also must pay service charge even though we cook the foods ourselves. Stupid la this government. Talking about government, government tax also must pay!! Chey -- talk like as if i'm so old like that hahaha.

OMG fuck sia today my english han cai bo cai -- dunno how to spell. LOL

I know.. I wear shades in most of my pictures..
Don't ask me why.. I just think it is cool wearing shades.. hahahahaha no?
LOL

AWW my baby so big already..
now become baby tua..
next month 21 yrs old...

Megat Indra Putra & Megat Hikal.
I think they have the same features, just different face shapes.
KAN!!!!

OMGOSHHHHHH KFC'S EGG TART IS THE BEST EGG TART, EVER.
But i know right -- KFC? But trust me man when I say this. That thing up there, is the nicest egg tart, ever. You should go and try it! I don't know if it's temporary on the menu or what, but you better get it while it last or your toes would be crying not having to taste that thing. (Don't ask me why 'toes'. Like I said, today my english ha cai bo cai)

Abg putra brought his sheesha stand along! Super awesome please!! I'm thinking of buying one for myself. Just a little small one to bring along when I have picnic or anything. We'll see!

So talk talk talk -- then we left around 10pm. Thanks abg putra for the food!!

Baby and I then bought hersheys (that slice of hersheys at Burger King that one) and double chocolate frappe from Mc Cafe. Both of us have a thing for chocolates. Like this HUGEEEEE thing for chocolates. Anyway! Sat down at pasir ris park and we talked.. and talked.. and talked..

Farah : Look up!! You know that 3 diagonal stars are always up there wherever you are? Cool right...
Megat : Three? There's four la sayang... You cannot see eh?
Farah : Where got... There's only three la..
Megat : Got 4 la sayang
Farah : Don't have la!! only got three!! Where's the other star??
Megat : It's not up there.. because the other star is right beside me..

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
hehehehe

I blushed so bad that I pushed him away lol.

Anyway, we made a move soon after cause baby hafta meet his family to watch a late night movie. Took the train together. He alighted at Tamp whereas I alighted at Bedok.

Love yesterday! And I'm gonna love today more because it's Valentine's day and I'm spending it with someone whom I really love and cherish alot :)

And please don't scold me for celebrating Valentines day. Please don't come telling me that it's pathetic to be sweet only on this day whereas you can be sweet to your loved ones on any other day. Yes yes I know that, and I've heard that. I mean, I don't celebrate valentines' day because of the story behind it. Since everyone is happily in love on this day, I don't think it is wrong to be celebrating it as well ALTHOUGH we DO NOT believe in Christianity. We are just celebrating valentines day for the fun of it because of the lovey-dovey atmosphere. I repeat, we DO NOT celebrate it because of the story behind it.

Why am i so defensive??? hahaha

Crosses and circles,
farah

10 months

2010-02-12T01:37:00.011+08:00

Okay I am seriously God damn sleepy right now but I just feel like blogging.
Anyhoos, yesterday was our 10th monthsary! I'm soooo happy! Seriously we've gone through alot of ups and downs that you couldn't even imagine but each of it is worth it. I love where we are now, and insya'allah we're gonna be better in the future. You're the best baby, no doubt about that.

Anyway, we could officially label ourselves as the JB couple because for some unknown reason, we just love hanging out in JB. So yea we decided to spend this lovely day over in JB. Megat picked me up under my block and we headed down to Tanjong Pagar cause we wanted to take the KTM to JB. But the train left the moment we reached. Major what-the-fuck, seriously! But we were both in a good mood though so it didn't really dampened our mood. Instead we decided to train down to Marsiling and take the bus down to Johor since we've never took the bus to Malaysia before. We have always been taking the KTM so we experienced something new together!

Reached JB around 3.15pm i think. Taking the bus there is quite convenient actually. It is just that you'd have to walk at the checkpoint which is quite a hassle, but apart from that it is fine. There wasn't any traffic jam though probably because it was a weekday. Plus we took the bus for free since both of us are using concession. Taking a train would cost S$5 each person though but it's really relaxing and you wouldn't even feel tired at all cause you'd be sitting in the train for about 45 minutes and you wouldn't have to walk much. City square would only be a bridge away if you take the KTM/bus. Just some of my own opinions.

So we changed our moolahs straight away and both of us wanted to do something new together, again! Headed down to City Plaza's Cathay and bought two tickets to 'Valentines Day'. Our first time watching movie together in Malaysia ! It is freaking cheap please. It would only cost RM6 per person if you are using student pass -- That is like S$3 !! Megat wanted the couple seat so we requested for it, and then the counter-person said something like -- "If you want couple seat, you cannot use student pass. Must buy the normal ticket."

I was like -- WHATTT? So you mean students cannot sit together in the theaters?! IT IS NOT LIKE AS IF WE'RE GOING TO DO ANYTHING IN THE THEATERS!!!! But it's okay -- who am I to blame right? It's Malaysia after all. So we bought the normal ticket and chose the couple seat. All we wanted was to seat close to each other without that stupid hand rest between us and just give each other a comfortable hug at most. THAT'S ALL!! pffft -.- Plus we chose the couple seat beside the aisle, WHAT'S THERE FOR US TO DO? Omg i'm so paranoid!!! And yea the normal ticket cost RM10 for each person

Anyway the movie was SUPER NICE!! I think I cried 3 times in the movie. Or was it 4? Megat was all "why you cry..this part not sweet..." omg you heartless!! hahaha. And when I cried, it was like - a whole lot of tears running down my cheecks - type. LOL. And and and ---

MEGAT ASKED ME TO BE HIS VALENTINES IN THE THEATERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD, you don't know how long I waited for that HEH HEH HEH. I thought I was going to be valentine-less this year haha. Actually about 3 weeks ago i already knew I'd be his valentine la cause when we were talking about that topic, he was like "of course la you're my valentine.. no need to ask what.. you're my girlfriend" BUT STILL!!! I WOULD LIKE TO BE ASKED!!! -- so he said "WAIT FOR THE MOMENT" -- so ya, I did and he asked!!! Like, finally? hahaha

So bought ciggies after the movie and we settle down over at some Portuguese chicken restaurant or something like that. Both of us were FAMISHED!! Real bad. It wasn't really nice though but the egg tart was YUM YUM!!

While waiting for our food --

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

LOL I ASKED HIM TO POSE LIKE THAT
SEEMED LIKE HE MASTERED IT ALREADY LOL

I thought that was that. Cause I was super full from the half-spring chicken. But by being Megat's girlfriend, I should always be prepared to have another round of food when I'm with him. -- We headed to JCO donuts and bought half a dozen of it! Went to Coffee Bean and bought pure chocolate.

Sat outside coffee bean with JCO donut + Pure chocolate + Sampoerna international + Away from singapore + Just the 2 of us + Our 10th monthsary = Awesome to the max.

And for some unknown reasons, I just love it when he asked me to be his Valentine so I asked him to ask me -- AGAIN. Haha! Soooo the tak tau malu omg. So he kneeled down and asked me for the second time. Omg so romantic!!! hehehe he freaking kneeled down please! LOL

It was almost 8pm already and the KTM back to Singapore from JB will be around 8.30. Went to the station to get our ticket but guess what? Train delayed till 10.30 pm wtf. Are we destined NOT to board the train on that day or what? So we went to JB checkpoint and took the SMRT bus from there. Dropped down at woodlands by around 9 plus I think? Yup!

Thanks for the day baby. I totally love you.
And please kneel down more often.. You look so hot like the sun and I can melt like the ice cream hehehe. Ok love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crosses and circles,
farah